I want to crawl under the covers right now and sleep for about a week. Either that or cry. Or both. I don't even know why, I'm just tired and confused I guess. I have a whole bunch of decisions I have to make soon, and they're kind of stressing me out. I didn't get cast in the play, so now I have to decide about Italy. That feels like it should be pointing towards going on the trip, but I just don't feel at peace about it. Of course I'm really disappointed about not getting cast in the play too. I can't apply to be an RA next year because training starts the week before we even go to youth camp. I mean, that's fine because I'm so excited about being an intern this summer, but it's still disappointing because I've always wanted to be a RA. I just turned in my exegetical paper and it just makes me sick to my stomach because I feel like I did a pretty horrible job on it, and that of course brings pain to my little good-grade loving heart. Not to mention that I just wanted to badly to write this paper well, no matter the grade. I miss having that accomplished feeling of writing a paper that I was truly proud of like I did in my English classes at Centralia.
Ok, seriously, going to bed now. Who cares that it's not even five o'clock.
Mood: Uh, crappy.
Music: None. It would probably annoy me.
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Overwhelmed-ness.
I drove back to school today after a WONDERFUL Thanksgiving break that included my mom's amazing food, lots of loud obnoxious children, Aladdin, Bugs Bunny, a midnight shopping trip, a movie night with the gang just like old times, Gee Cees at 2AM, a run in with the cops, (don't worry, I didn't do anything wrong!) lots of sleep, and a fantastic birthday party for Hillary. :) Yep, I think that pretty much covers it. Fantastic week!
But on my drive back today, I had lots of time to think about stuff. Always scary, I know. But I realized that the more I learn about God and the more I listen to and talk to people who are older and wiser than I am, the more I realize just how much I DON'T know! People always say that college freshmen think they're so smart because they're learning all this cool new stuff (maybe that's a Pastor Joe quote, I'm not sure) but I sure don't feel like that. I feel completely overwhelmed by all the things I want to learn and know and have become a part of my life that I feel like I'll never accomplish. I know that I'll never fully understand God, which is great, because I wouldn't want to worship a God that I could understand, but I feel so very lost and overwhelmed by the sheer amount that I want to learn. I feel like I'll never know enough about God to be able to answer questions like Danny always answers my questions. I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface.
But on the other hand, that's also a very exciting place to be. There is so much to learn about God that will make me love Him more and make me even more amazed by His awesomeness, that I'll be learning for the rest of my life. Ok, this is all turning into a jumbled mess in my brain, so I think I'll stop trying to explain it for now. Peace out.
Mood: Good.
Music: Christmas music!
But on my drive back today, I had lots of time to think about stuff. Always scary, I know. But I realized that the more I learn about God and the more I listen to and talk to people who are older and wiser than I am, the more I realize just how much I DON'T know! People always say that college freshmen think they're so smart because they're learning all this cool new stuff (maybe that's a Pastor Joe quote, I'm not sure) but I sure don't feel like that. I feel completely overwhelmed by all the things I want to learn and know and have become a part of my life that I feel like I'll never accomplish. I know that I'll never fully understand God, which is great, because I wouldn't want to worship a God that I could understand, but I feel so very lost and overwhelmed by the sheer amount that I want to learn. I feel like I'll never know enough about God to be able to answer questions like Danny always answers my questions. I feel like I haven't even scratched the surface.
But on the other hand, that's also a very exciting place to be. There is so much to learn about God that will make me love Him more and make me even more amazed by His awesomeness, that I'll be learning for the rest of my life. Ok, this is all turning into a jumbled mess in my brain, so I think I'll stop trying to explain it for now. Peace out.
Mood: Good.
Music: Christmas music!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Weekends and Thinking Quotas
It was Corban Experience weekend. Alise and Linnea came down here on Saturday (finally, after a slight "detour" through Astoria or some such atrocity) so that we could hang out and do fun stuff before the official "preview weekend" started. We explored cool coffee shops in Salem; played LOTS of ping pong, pool, and foosball; shopped; and oh, we post-it noted and saran-wrapped Ben's car. :) Go us!
Ah yes, good times. It was a WONDERFUL weekend! I can only imagine how much trouble Alise and I would get in if she went to school here and lived here full time. Wow, just thinking about that nearly puts me over my thinking quota for the week. :)
Mood: Weird.
Music: "Out of Control" by Capital Lights
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Elisabeth Elliot Quotes
Holiness has never been the driving force of the majority. It is, however, mandatory for anyone who wants to enter the kingdom.
Don't strain your eyes to see the future - for you will not be able to see clearly what God wants you to see NOW.
Don't strain your eyes to see the future - for you will not be able to see clearly what God wants you to see NOW.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Some Things to Talk About
I think I'm going to try to get back into the habit of blogging regularly. It's a great stress reliever, and while procrastinating on homework last weekend, I completely rehauled my blog, which hasn't been done since I first started it, some three or four odd years ago. Now that it's all pretty again, I really want to write in it more. :)
During one of my 59-times-a-day checking of my e-mail this morning, I got two messages regarding the Italy spring break trip. [Side note: Katie M. used to tell me that she checked her email obsessively when she started college, and I never quite believed the extent to which she told me it would be important. I believe her now. Mail or lack thereof can truly make or break the day of a college student!] But yes, Italy you say? Well, let me start from the beginning. Corban does all these cool mission trips during spring break every year, and I hadn't really thought seriously about going on any of them, but I got an email about an informational meeting on the Italy trip and decided to just go check it out. Ok, mostly to see how much it cost. Especially with the economy being like it is, I hate asking people (my church) for money. I honestly had no intention of even considering going.
Random side note: My roommate is gone and I haven't seen her for a while. This is weird. She usually doesn't just disappear like that. Hmmmm. I hope she comes back; I kinda like her.
Ok, back to Italy. The meeting was good. The trip is definitely affordable. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized what a cool opportunity this could be. With my background, I have lots of experience with Catholicism and a real heart for Catholics - after all, I used to be one! I started thinking and praying about it, and even talked to my parents about it, which I expected to not go so well. To my surprise, they were totally like "Whatever" about it. Wow, huh?
But I need to decide - soon - whether I'm going to go or not. And I have no idea what to do. I've been praying about it and thinking about it, and feel like I really don't know the answer. I want to go, and so far it seems like things have pointed towards that, but I just really want to know that it's what God wants for me. So I guess we'll see what happens.
In other business: My hall is awesome. My RA is the absolute BEST! Really, I'm absolutely convinced that no other hall has a better RA than Madi, she's the best!
Alise and Linnea will be here next weekend. YAY! I think that's all for now. I'm going to study for my Bible Study Methods quiz and go to bed. Peace out!
Mood: Ok
Music: "Nutcracker Suite" (YAY for Christmas music!)
During one of my 59-times-a-day checking of my e-mail this morning, I got two messages regarding the Italy spring break trip. [Side note: Katie M. used to tell me that she checked her email obsessively when she started college, and I never quite believed the extent to which she told me it would be important. I believe her now. Mail or lack thereof can truly make or break the day of a college student!] But yes, Italy you say? Well, let me start from the beginning. Corban does all these cool mission trips during spring break every year, and I hadn't really thought seriously about going on any of them, but I got an email about an informational meeting on the Italy trip and decided to just go check it out. Ok, mostly to see how much it cost. Especially with the economy being like it is, I hate asking people (my church) for money. I honestly had no intention of even considering going.
Random side note: My roommate is gone and I haven't seen her for a while. This is weird. She usually doesn't just disappear like that. Hmmmm. I hope she comes back; I kinda like her.
Ok, back to Italy. The meeting was good. The trip is definitely affordable. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized what a cool opportunity this could be. With my background, I have lots of experience with Catholicism and a real heart for Catholics - after all, I used to be one! I started thinking and praying about it, and even talked to my parents about it, which I expected to not go so well. To my surprise, they were totally like "Whatever" about it. Wow, huh?
But I need to decide - soon - whether I'm going to go or not. And I have no idea what to do. I've been praying about it and thinking about it, and feel like I really don't know the answer. I want to go, and so far it seems like things have pointed towards that, but I just really want to know that it's what God wants for me. So I guess we'll see what happens.
In other business: My hall is awesome. My RA is the absolute BEST! Really, I'm absolutely convinced that no other hall has a better RA than Madi, she's the best!
Alise and Linnea will be here next weekend. YAY! I think that's all for now. I'm going to study for my Bible Study Methods quiz and go to bed. Peace out!
Mood: Ok
Music: "Nutcracker Suite" (YAY for Christmas music!)
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Queen of Procrastination
Yes, it is I, the Queen of Procrastination. I have two exams tomorrow (Psychology and American Thought) and have been COMPLETELY unmotivated to study for either of them ALL WEEKEND.
Yes, this is bad.
The semester is winding down, and I'm definitely in the "end of semester" mode. Nineteen-some-odd days until Thanksgiving break, then back for a week and a half, then home for Christmas! I'm so stoked for Christmas! I'm going to cook and bake to my heart's content, teach my sis how to snowboard, spend some quality time on my own board, hang out with Alise, go Christmas shopping with my girls, GO TO BACHELOR!, spend lots of time at church, work at the Pharmacy and make money for next semester, go bowling, and get my hair cut. :) I think that looks like a good list, don't you?
But even though I'm crazy-excited for the breaks, the nerd in me is still looking forward to next semester. I should figure out my classes in the next week, and they're going to be mostly Bible/ministry classes from here on out, and I'm SO excited about that! I went to a game night/fellowship-thingie last night for all the ministry majors here, and had such a great time! It's going to be a blast to get to know those people who share my passion for ministry, and Dr. Baker (the youth ministry department head, who is also my advisor) reminds me so much of Danny! Cool, huh?
Ok, ok, ok, I've gotta get back to my ATC and Psych study sheets. *sigh* The last time I was home I realized that my parents are going to be livid if I get anything less than straight A's in all my classes this semester. So I'd better get at it.
Mood: Chillaxin'
Music: "Angel of Music" by Andrew Loyd Weber
Yes, this is bad.
The semester is winding down, and I'm definitely in the "end of semester" mode. Nineteen-some-odd days until Thanksgiving break, then back for a week and a half, then home for Christmas! I'm so stoked for Christmas! I'm going to cook and bake to my heart's content, teach my sis how to snowboard, spend some quality time on my own board, hang out with Alise, go Christmas shopping with my girls, GO TO BACHELOR!, spend lots of time at church, work at the Pharmacy and make money for next semester, go bowling, and get my hair cut. :) I think that looks like a good list, don't you?
But even though I'm crazy-excited for the breaks, the nerd in me is still looking forward to next semester. I should figure out my classes in the next week, and they're going to be mostly Bible/ministry classes from here on out, and I'm SO excited about that! I went to a game night/fellowship-thingie last night for all the ministry majors here, and had such a great time! It's going to be a blast to get to know those people who share my passion for ministry, and Dr. Baker (the youth ministry department head, who is also my advisor) reminds me so much of Danny! Cool, huh?
Ok, ok, ok, I've gotta get back to my ATC and Psych study sheets. *sigh* The last time I was home I realized that my parents are going to be livid if I get anything less than straight A's in all my classes this semester. So I'd better get at it.
Mood: Chillaxin'
Music: "Angel of Music" by Andrew Loyd Weber
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
High Time for a Happy Note
My last several blogs have been very sad and depressing. Ugh, I'm sorry! I hate being melancholy, truly I do! So here's a happy note! I've decided something. Are you ready for this?
I love it here.
Now I'm not quite sure if I can call Salem "home" yet, but that's ok. I can still love it here and not call it home. Yes, Toledo is still my home even though it seems weird when I'm there, and I still hope and pray that I can live there again. I still miss my church and my friends more than words can say, but I still love it here. Finding a church is still a want-to/don't-want-to thing for me, but I know that I'm supposed to be involved in a community of believers here, so I trust that God will show me His place for me. I still don't have a friend like Alise here, one that I can pour my heart out to, but that's ok. No one can take her place and I don't want anyone to. So I guess a better way of putting that is that I'm adjusting VERY well to being here, which is a total answer to prayer, since it's only been two months. :) I love living in the dorm with these girls, I love being free to do random and crazy stuff when I have time to and I'm not doing homework. For the most part, I love my classes. I wrote my first big assignment for a Bible class tonight, and realized how amazingly cool it is to be able to study the Bible...for SCHOOL! Through several sets of circumstances, I have realized anew that God has planned that I would be here, in this dorm, in this hall, since the beginning of my life. What a humbling and amazing concept! I'm still not 100% at peace with my major, but God's been confirming that too, so I think I'm well on my way.
God is so good, and He takes such amazing care of His children!! Thank all of you for all your prayers and please don't stop, but I'm so grateful!
Mood: Content
Music: Something by Chris Brown
I love it here.
Now I'm not quite sure if I can call Salem "home" yet, but that's ok. I can still love it here and not call it home. Yes, Toledo is still my home even though it seems weird when I'm there, and I still hope and pray that I can live there again. I still miss my church and my friends more than words can say, but I still love it here. Finding a church is still a want-to/don't-want-to thing for me, but I know that I'm supposed to be involved in a community of believers here, so I trust that God will show me His place for me. I still don't have a friend like Alise here, one that I can pour my heart out to, but that's ok. No one can take her place and I don't want anyone to. So I guess a better way of putting that is that I'm adjusting VERY well to being here, which is a total answer to prayer, since it's only been two months. :) I love living in the dorm with these girls, I love being free to do random and crazy stuff when I have time to and I'm not doing homework. For the most part, I love my classes. I wrote my first big assignment for a Bible class tonight, and realized how amazingly cool it is to be able to study the Bible...for SCHOOL! Through several sets of circumstances, I have realized anew that God has planned that I would be here, in this dorm, in this hall, since the beginning of my life. What a humbling and amazing concept! I'm still not 100% at peace with my major, but God's been confirming that too, so I think I'm well on my way.
God is so good, and He takes such amazing care of His children!! Thank all of you for all your prayers and please don't stop, but I'm so grateful!
Mood: Content
Music: Something by Chris Brown
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Late Night Thoughts
It is roughly 2am, so I'm not exactly sane at the moment. I'm going four-wall crazy, and I just got back from Taco Bell. Thank goodness for fast food being open until 3am on weekends. My two beef soft tacos with no lettuce were heavenly. My roommate is gone for the weekend and I spent my afternoon watching "The Office" and playing "Gold Strike" (aka, the stupidest computer game known to man). I'm currently trying to beat my high score of 75,000. Go me.
I spent a good hour on the phone with Samantha tonight. She's officially "in a relationship" with Blake. Everyone say, "Awwwww!" I'm happy for her, I really am. Thrilled actually. From what I've heard, he seems like a fantastic guy. But it's nights like this that I just can't help but wonder.
When will it be my turn? Will it EVER be my turn? Will I ever get to change my Facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship"? Will I ever meet a guy who wants to tell the world that I'm his girl? Is he out there? Will there ever be a guy who is just completely crazy about me?
Being here makes it even harder. I'm surrounded, all the time, by these adorable Christian couples, watching guys treat girls like royalty, and just be so dang CUTE! Friday nights are date nights, and what did I do tonight? Yep, I sat in my room, eating Nutella and playing Gold Strike. Depressing, eh? But even more sad is the fact that I have yet to meet a single guy here. Not even one. Ok, I was introduced to Ben's friend Joey one night when we were both at Wal Mart at like 12:30, but he doesn't even recognize me in the halls, so that doesn't count.
Now don't get my wrong, I'm not in the "ring by spring" crowd, I'm here to get my degree. That is definitely my focus! It's just frustrating. Grrrrr.
Mood: Contemplative
Music: "Strong" by Jordyn Taylor
I spent a good hour on the phone with Samantha tonight. She's officially "in a relationship" with Blake. Everyone say, "Awwwww!" I'm happy for her, I really am. Thrilled actually. From what I've heard, he seems like a fantastic guy. But it's nights like this that I just can't help but wonder.
When will it be my turn? Will it EVER be my turn? Will I ever get to change my Facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship"? Will I ever meet a guy who wants to tell the world that I'm his girl? Is he out there? Will there ever be a guy who is just completely crazy about me?
Being here makes it even harder. I'm surrounded, all the time, by these adorable Christian couples, watching guys treat girls like royalty, and just be so dang CUTE! Friday nights are date nights, and what did I do tonight? Yep, I sat in my room, eating Nutella and playing Gold Strike. Depressing, eh? But even more sad is the fact that I have yet to meet a single guy here. Not even one. Ok, I was introduced to Ben's friend Joey one night when we were both at Wal Mart at like 12:30, but he doesn't even recognize me in the halls, so that doesn't count.
Now don't get my wrong, I'm not in the "ring by spring" crowd, I'm here to get my degree. That is definitely my focus! It's just frustrating. Grrrrr.
Mood: Contemplative
Music: "Strong" by Jordyn Taylor
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
The Little Things That Make Me Happy
Ok, this might completely strange and insignificant to some people, but it made me ridiculously happy! I had a couple of errands to run today--WalMart to pick up my contacts and photos, and Office Max to get my Algebra book shrink wrapped (more on that later!)--and they're kind of on opposite sides of Salem. Ok, maybe they're not really OPPOSITE, but to get to Wal Mart you go left from school, and to get to Office Max, you go right. That's opposite in my mind. So I pretty much figured that I'd go to Wal Mart and drive all the way back to school and then to Office Max because I didn't know any other way to get there. In other words, do a LOT of driving. I was pretty sure that there WAS an easier way to get there, but I for sure didn't know it. So I go to WalMart, am frustrated because my pictures aren't there yet (they said they'd be in yesterday!) and on the way sit in construction on Turner Rd for a long time. Grrrr, right? So I decided to be brave and try to find a different way to Office Max that avoided going back through the construction.
Yeah, I'm a brave one. :)
In the back of my mind, I figured I'd get on the freeway, drive north another exit or so, and hopefully hit the Lancaster exit. So I get on the highway, trying to find the exit for I-5 North (I'm still getting used to the fact that Portland is "north" from here!) and I see it. The sign says "Lancaster Drive 3/4 mi." I don't even have to get on the freeway!! So I successfully navigated the lane changes and crazy Oregon drivers, got on Lancaster, found Office Max, and got my book shrink-wrapped, all without getting back on the freeway OR having to sit through construction traffic again!
GO ME!
Yes, I know it's silly, but to me it was a very profound moment. I think I kind of proved to myself that I really am going to be ok and survive here. I am finding my way around in a semi-new and strange town, doing what I need to do in everyday life all on my own, without my parents and friends. I dropped my math class this morning, which was totally stressing me out, and enrolled in a missions class called Global Perspectives, rounding out my semester at 15 credits. My planner is full of notes and empty check boxes, but that's ok too, because I have an organized list of everything that needs to be done, my desk is clean, my bed is made, and I am ready to tackle that list. If I get it all done in a reasonable amount of time, Kelli and I are going to watch "The Italian Job" tonight. :)
But in 40 minutes I have a Young Life meeting to go to, which I'm super excited about too. I really really want to get involved in Young Life here. And oh yes! About that shrink-wrapped Algebra book. You can't return books at the campus bookstore if they've been opened, and I opened this stupid $160 book after I started the class, freaked out because it was ridiculously hard and I didn't have a teacher (it was an on-line class) and was then out the $160. So I went to Office Max, paid $.75 to have it shrink wrapped, and now I'm going to return it. Hee hee, I'm working the bookstore system. :)
Mood: Optimistic
Music: Henry's podcast of last week's Sunday school class.
Yeah, I'm a brave one. :)
In the back of my mind, I figured I'd get on the freeway, drive north another exit or so, and hopefully hit the Lancaster exit. So I get on the highway, trying to find the exit for I-5 North (I'm still getting used to the fact that Portland is "north" from here!) and I see it. The sign says "Lancaster Drive 3/4 mi." I don't even have to get on the freeway!! So I successfully navigated the lane changes and crazy Oregon drivers, got on Lancaster, found Office Max, and got my book shrink-wrapped, all without getting back on the freeway OR having to sit through construction traffic again!
GO ME!
Yes, I know it's silly, but to me it was a very profound moment. I think I kind of proved to myself that I really am going to be ok and survive here. I am finding my way around in a semi-new and strange town, doing what I need to do in everyday life all on my own, without my parents and friends. I dropped my math class this morning, which was totally stressing me out, and enrolled in a missions class called Global Perspectives, rounding out my semester at 15 credits. My planner is full of notes and empty check boxes, but that's ok too, because I have an organized list of everything that needs to be done, my desk is clean, my bed is made, and I am ready to tackle that list. If I get it all done in a reasonable amount of time, Kelli and I are going to watch "The Italian Job" tonight. :)
But in 40 minutes I have a Young Life meeting to go to, which I'm super excited about too. I really really want to get involved in Young Life here. And oh yes! About that shrink-wrapped Algebra book. You can't return books at the campus bookstore if they've been opened, and I opened this stupid $160 book after I started the class, freaked out because it was ridiculously hard and I didn't have a teacher (it was an on-line class) and was then out the $160. So I went to Office Max, paid $.75 to have it shrink wrapped, and now I'm going to return it. Hee hee, I'm working the bookstore system. :)
Mood: Optimistic
Music: Henry's podcast of last week's Sunday school class.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Just Me and My Boys
My best friend obviously decided to go globetrotting this summer, =) leaving me to single-handedly defend the entire race of womankind against crazy boys. Ha ha, let me explain.
It's always been me, Alise, and Hillary (in the last year or so at least) who always hang with Ben, Anthony, Jordon, sometimes John, and occasionally the pack of little guys (Peter, Reid, Bret, etc). The family, ya know? But now Alise is halfway across the world (well, soon anyways) and things are too awkward between Hillary and Jordon for her to hang out with us anymore. Which makes me very sad.
But do some math. Yes, you can do it. You're smart. That leaves Ben, Anthony, Jordon, sometimes John, the pack of little guys, and ... me. First off, it's stinking hilarious, and secondly, farting, burping, BO, and "women in the kitchen" jokes no longer bother me in any way, shape, or form. =)
Take Wednesday night for example. We decide to go bowling after church. Me, Ben, Jordon, Anthony, and John. And we all cram into Jordon's little Chevy Cavalier. Whoo boy, talk about bonding. I'm squished between JOHN and BEN in the backseat. They're big guys, and Jordon's car is very small. Trying to get your phone out of your pocket is pretty much impossible.
But I seriously think I've never laughed so hard in my life. From farting contests in WinCo to the aforementioned "women belong in the kitchen" jokes while driving down Ocean Beach Highway, to 30-mph fast balls in Hilander, I almost peed my pants on several occasions from sheer laughter. However, I used a pink ball at bowling just for spite. =)
Tonight we went to see "The Incredible Hulk." I DESPERATELY wanted a girl to go with me, and I searched high and low! Hillary obviously couldn't go, Heather is kinda grounded in CR for the time being, Beth works nights these days, Emmy was at the Tacoma Dome for her sister's graduation, Linnea had to stay home, and Sam was working. Shucks.
But oh well. It actually ended up just being me and Ben and Peter, and the movie was great. I've definitely decided that I hardcore love Marvel Comics that have been made into movies. Spiderman, Batman, Incredible Hulk, Ironman. They're just so good!
It's probably what my whole summer is gonna look like though! Me and my boys, just chillin. Watching movies and eating food. =) It's gonna be fun, and I'm excited. I already have this summer pegged as "the best summer of my life" cuz it's definitely been that so far, and it's only been a week! I can't wait for the rest!!
Mood: All smiles.
Music: "Photograph" by Nickelback.
It's always been me, Alise, and Hillary (in the last year or so at least) who always hang with Ben, Anthony, Jordon, sometimes John, and occasionally the pack of little guys (Peter, Reid, Bret, etc). The family, ya know? But now Alise is halfway across the world (well, soon anyways) and things are too awkward between Hillary and Jordon for her to hang out with us anymore. Which makes me very sad.
But do some math. Yes, you can do it. You're smart. That leaves Ben, Anthony, Jordon, sometimes John, the pack of little guys, and ... me. First off, it's stinking hilarious, and secondly, farting, burping, BO, and "women in the kitchen" jokes no longer bother me in any way, shape, or form. =)
Take Wednesday night for example. We decide to go bowling after church. Me, Ben, Jordon, Anthony, and John. And we all cram into Jordon's little Chevy Cavalier. Whoo boy, talk about bonding. I'm squished between JOHN and BEN in the backseat. They're big guys, and Jordon's car is very small. Trying to get your phone out of your pocket is pretty much impossible.
But I seriously think I've never laughed so hard in my life. From farting contests in WinCo to the aforementioned "women belong in the kitchen" jokes while driving down Ocean Beach Highway, to 30-mph fast balls in Hilander, I almost peed my pants on several occasions from sheer laughter. However, I used a pink ball at bowling just for spite. =)
Tonight we went to see "The Incredible Hulk." I DESPERATELY wanted a girl to go with me, and I searched high and low! Hillary obviously couldn't go, Heather is kinda grounded in CR for the time being, Beth works nights these days, Emmy was at the Tacoma Dome for her sister's graduation, Linnea had to stay home, and Sam was working. Shucks.
But oh well. It actually ended up just being me and Ben and Peter, and the movie was great. I've definitely decided that I hardcore love Marvel Comics that have been made into movies. Spiderman, Batman, Incredible Hulk, Ironman. They're just so good!
It's probably what my whole summer is gonna look like though! Me and my boys, just chillin. Watching movies and eating food. =) It's gonna be fun, and I'm excited. I already have this summer pegged as "the best summer of my life" cuz it's definitely been that so far, and it's only been a week! I can't wait for the rest!!
Mood: All smiles.
Music: "Photograph" by Nickelback.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Thus Begins Summer!
And thus begins my senior summer! Saturday was probably the most amazing day of my life so far. I loved every minute of it! Actually, the last two weeks have been fun beyond words! I was at Krenelka's today, and Sean and I put together the graduation pages for the annual. While we were working on it, she asked me if I kind of wished I had graduated with Academy.
I didn't even have to think about it. "Absolutely not," I said. I don't regret my decision to graduate from Toledo for even a second, and I don't wish I'd been involved with Academy as a senior. My close senior friends from LCLC didn't graduate from there; actually most of them graduated from Toledo. To be perfectly honest, the LCLC senior class was kind of lame this year. Only two people went on the cruise, and the class in general just wasn't close and didn't do anything together at all. Even though I didn't have a ton of close friends in my THS class, everything just worked out perfectly. I can't even describe it. It was a definite God-thing. =)
And then last night Alise flew out for Chicago. Everything that fell into place for her to go was, again, a total God-thing. I'm so excited for everything that she's going to do and see and learn this summer, but gosh, I'm going to miss her like all git out! Fifty-eight days till she comes home! And hoo boy will the stories fly then!
Mood: Exhausted
Music: None
I didn't even have to think about it. "Absolutely not," I said. I don't regret my decision to graduate from Toledo for even a second, and I don't wish I'd been involved with Academy as a senior. My close senior friends from LCLC didn't graduate from there; actually most of them graduated from Toledo. To be perfectly honest, the LCLC senior class was kind of lame this year. Only two people went on the cruise, and the class in general just wasn't close and didn't do anything together at all. Even though I didn't have a ton of close friends in my THS class, everything just worked out perfectly. I can't even describe it. It was a definite God-thing. =)
And then last night Alise flew out for Chicago. Everything that fell into place for her to go was, again, a total God-thing. I'm so excited for everything that she's going to do and see and learn this summer, but gosh, I'm going to miss her like all git out! Fifty-eight days till she comes home! And hoo boy will the stories fly then!
Mood: Exhausted
Music: None
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Accepted!!
So I get home from school today and the phone rings. It's a lady from Corban calling to tell me that they've received all my paperwork and I've been accepted!!
*Carrie starts "pulling a Katie" and running down the hallway screaming and flailing her arms*
It's so crazy to think that I'm going to be moving out this fall and living two hours away from my family, friends, and church, going to "real college" and having to deal with all of the "real world" stuff. It's horribly exciting and horribly intimidating all at the same time. *Carrie starts "pulling a Katie" and running down the hallway screaming and flailing her arms*
I found a group on Facebook today called "I Picked A Major I Liked, and One Day I Will Probably Be Living In A Box." It made me laugh because it seems so ridiculously true!! I've always joked about some day being a bum and living in a cardboard box under a bridge, and who knows? I'm definitely not going into ministry for the money, :) and I was reading in the book Pursuit of God today about not being so attached to our possessions. Maybe God is trying to tell me something. :) I'm thinking that a refrigerator box would be quite nice. I'd be set with a nice warm sleeping bag and some top ramen. Yes, you can eat Ramen raw.
So now I'm just waiting on the financial aid paperwork. That is definitely going to be the make-or-break part of this whole deal. Corban is VERY expensive!! And I'm just a poor custodial engineer. :] But it's all in God's hands. If Corban is where he wants me, then He's gonna work out every last detail!!
Mood: Thrilled
Music: "Treason" by Kutless
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Love, Life, Friends, and the Future
My MySpace mood-thing right now says that I'm "contemplating life, love, friends, and the future." And I guess I am. Life can be SO weird sometimes. So can love and friends and the future. =]
I get so frustrated with myself when I don't want to forgive. Like right now, I know I need to forgive someone, but that horrible jerk-ish part of me doesn't want to do it until she realizes that she hurt me and says she's sorry.
But that's not the way it works. Even if the other person never ever realizes that their actions and words hurt me and brought me to tears, I still need to forgive them if for no other reason than that they DIDN'T realize it. Because I hope that if they didn't realize it, then they truly didn't mean to do it.
I can't put conditions on forgiveness though. If I want God to forgive me unconditionally, then I've gotta forgive others like that. And that's a pretty powerful motivator, especially for someone like me who messes up a LOT!
I hate it when friendships slip away. Especially over dumb things that we'll look back on later and be like, "That was so STUPID!" It makes me want to cry. Another thing that makes me want to burst into tears is when I see friends doing things that I can see are harmful for them. I can see it because I'm outside of the emotion of the situation, but the person in the middle of it is blind to the danger. So even if you try to talk to them about it, they won't listen because they can't see it. Sad seems like such an inadequate word to express how I feel about this sort of thing. Distressed, maybe? That's not quite it either.
Mood: Sad/Distressed/Troubled/Sad
Music: "September" by Spoken
I get so frustrated with myself when I don't want to forgive. Like right now, I know I need to forgive someone, but that horrible jerk-ish part of me doesn't want to do it until she realizes that she hurt me and says she's sorry.
But that's not the way it works. Even if the other person never ever realizes that their actions and words hurt me and brought me to tears, I still need to forgive them if for no other reason than that they DIDN'T realize it. Because I hope that if they didn't realize it, then they truly didn't mean to do it.
I can't put conditions on forgiveness though. If I want God to forgive me unconditionally, then I've gotta forgive others like that. And that's a pretty powerful motivator, especially for someone like me who messes up a LOT!
I hate it when friendships slip away. Especially over dumb things that we'll look back on later and be like, "That was so STUPID!" It makes me want to cry. Another thing that makes me want to burst into tears is when I see friends doing things that I can see are harmful for them. I can see it because I'm outside of the emotion of the situation, but the person in the middle of it is blind to the danger. So even if you try to talk to them about it, they won't listen because they can't see it. Sad seems like such an inadequate word to express how I feel about this sort of thing. Distressed, maybe? That's not quite it either.
Mood: Sad/Distressed/Troubled/Sad
Music: "September" by Spoken
Monday, June 18, 2007
Weird and Wacky Summer
This summer is going to be different, I'm not gonna lie. First off, I just want to say that I'm not complaining here, I'm just musing about the things that are going on this summer. The "summer group" is splitting up this year. We're all going different places and serving the Lord in different ways. Well, I'm staying home, but it will still be different without the rest of the gang around. I will admit that I'm a little jealous of Alise and Jordon especially, since it's always been my dream to go to a South American country to do mission work, but the Lord made it very clear to me from the start that this Costa Rica trip, although it was perfect for Alise and Jordon, was not what He had for me. I know that He must have a plan for me this summer and I need to be content with that.
I don't want to fall into the trap of just "doing the same old stuff." Because it's not. Sure, I'm going to be at some of the same places that I'm at every summer, but I pray that God will show Himself to me in very new and exciting ways throughout these next few months.
I'm going to miss my best friend ... a lot. I'm super excited for her, and this opportunity that God has so clearly led her to, but I'm still gonna miss her! From our intense prayer group times, to the way we try to hold each other accountable to stay in the Word and seek God through the busy times of the summer, to our deep late night talks, it's going to be a very different summer without her. I have no doubt that God is going to do awesome things in both of our lives this summer as we yield to Him, but it's going to be a new thing to have such different experiences. Not a bad thing, just different! :-)
My dear friend Katie said something tonight at Bible study that really hit me. It's such a simple truth, yet one that we so easily forget in the busyness of life. I just want to be like Jesus. It's really true. All the little things fall under that. I just want to be more like Jesus. That is my prayer for myself this summer. That I would grow to be more like my Savior, trusting Him with every aspect of my life, and giving Him the total preeminence He deserves in my life.
Mood: Contemplative
Music: None
I don't want to fall into the trap of just "doing the same old stuff." Because it's not. Sure, I'm going to be at some of the same places that I'm at every summer, but I pray that God will show Himself to me in very new and exciting ways throughout these next few months.
I'm going to miss my best friend ... a lot. I'm super excited for her, and this opportunity that God has so clearly led her to, but I'm still gonna miss her! From our intense prayer group times, to the way we try to hold each other accountable to stay in the Word and seek God through the busy times of the summer, to our deep late night talks, it's going to be a very different summer without her. I have no doubt that God is going to do awesome things in both of our lives this summer as we yield to Him, but it's going to be a new thing to have such different experiences. Not a bad thing, just different! :-)
My dear friend Katie said something tonight at Bible study that really hit me. It's such a simple truth, yet one that we so easily forget in the busyness of life. I just want to be like Jesus. It's really true. All the little things fall under that. I just want to be more like Jesus. That is my prayer for myself this summer. That I would grow to be more like my Savior, trusting Him with every aspect of my life, and giving Him the total preeminence He deserves in my life.
Mood: Contemplative
Music: None
Saturday, February 10, 2007
HILAROUS Valentines Day Commercial
So I was at work today, listening to the radio because there's nothing better to do at work, and I heard this hilarious Valentine's Day Commercial from Trader Joe's. Naturally, I came home and Googled the phrase "Trader Joe's Valentine Radio Commercial" and found it. I crack up laughing every time I read it.
Everyone knows that roses and chocolate make perfect Valentine's Day gifts, but what if your relationship hasn't reached the dozen roses stage? Finding a gift that reflects your feelings for your "friend" can be stressful. What should you do if you're not sure just how special your special someone is? Trader Joe's recommends a jar of marinated mushrooms with garlic. They are wonderfully flavorful and at just $2.69, your budget will be in line with your feelings. Of course, if you're sure, TJ's also has a large assortment of roses and chocolate at great prices, but a jar of marinated mushrooms with garlic is a great way to say, "I like you, but let's not rush into anything."
Mood: Laughing
Music: Hmmm, what happened to my iPod headphones?
Everyone knows that roses and chocolate make perfect Valentine's Day gifts, but what if your relationship hasn't reached the dozen roses stage? Finding a gift that reflects your feelings for your "friend" can be stressful. What should you do if you're not sure just how special your special someone is? Trader Joe's recommends a jar of marinated mushrooms with garlic. They are wonderfully flavorful and at just $2.69, your budget will be in line with your feelings. Of course, if you're sure, TJ's also has a large assortment of roses and chocolate at great prices, but a jar of marinated mushrooms with garlic is a great way to say, "I like you, but let's not rush into anything."
Mood: Laughing
Music: Hmmm, what happened to my iPod headphones?
Monday, January 08, 2007
Moving On
Things come and go, ya know? Like seasons. And the nice thing about changing seasons is that by the time one season is over, then you're usually about ready for the next season to be there. You're ready for a change. And that's how it is in life too. Things (seasons) come and they go. But the difference about "life seasons" is that you're not always ready when the next one comes along. Sometimes you are; sometimes you feel like a new one was way overdue; sometimes you're not ready at all; and sometimes the new season takes some adjustment to get used to.
All of that to say that I think I'm changing seasons in my life right now. Things have been changing left and right in my life in the last couple of months, and my head is still spinning. I'm exhausted beyond belief at the moment, so I probably shouldn't be making these huge decisions, but that is why I haven't done anything official about them yet. I'm going to sleep on it, pray about it, and see if I still feel the same way tomorrow. Thing is, I have been praying about it, and I really belive that God is telling me that it's time for this particular thing to be over.
Piano. For quite a while now, I've been toying with the idea of stopping my piano lessons. I simply don't have the necessary time to devote to it anymore. Seriously, I haven't turned in a good practice card since sometime last spring. My schedule is so crazy, that by the time I get a spare moment to practice, I'm exhausted and don't practice well anyways. With a regular teacher, I could probably still pull it off, but with the upper-level teacher that I have, and the competitions I'm attempting to prepare for, I simply don't put in enough time to even fake my way through my lessons, much less a competition. And besides, I've found my niche in music. And it's not classical competitions anymore. It's doing what I do on Wednesday nights with John and Danny and Terry and Britton. It's worship. And with the training I have, I can do that. I can read a piece of music. I can count rhythm. And I'm learning how to chord, but not from my lessons. This is real-life music. I don't think that all those years of classical training were wasted, AT ALL! I think that God used them in a very real way to prepare me for what He's called me to do now. And that was part of a past season of my life.
Of course, not to mention all the money my parents are going to save. Trust me, Robin is NOT cheap!
I really do think that I'm making the right decision. But that doesn't mean that it's easy. Like the hardware store, piano lessons have been a part of my life, almost from the beginning, first with Lorraine, and then with Robin, two women who shaped me into the musician I am today. And it's been good. Piano has been a very good thing in my life. But good things have to end too, and I think it's time.
I think I'm going to talk to my parents tomorrow. Tears are clogging my throat as I write this; it's going to be hard to actually do it. But I need to. It's time. It's time to move on. Grow up a little more, as much as I hate the thought of that. Move on.
Mood: -----
Music: None
All of that to say that I think I'm changing seasons in my life right now. Things have been changing left and right in my life in the last couple of months, and my head is still spinning. I'm exhausted beyond belief at the moment, so I probably shouldn't be making these huge decisions, but that is why I haven't done anything official about them yet. I'm going to sleep on it, pray about it, and see if I still feel the same way tomorrow. Thing is, I have been praying about it, and I really belive that God is telling me that it's time for this particular thing to be over.
Piano. For quite a while now, I've been toying with the idea of stopping my piano lessons. I simply don't have the necessary time to devote to it anymore. Seriously, I haven't turned in a good practice card since sometime last spring. My schedule is so crazy, that by the time I get a spare moment to practice, I'm exhausted and don't practice well anyways. With a regular teacher, I could probably still pull it off, but with the upper-level teacher that I have, and the competitions I'm attempting to prepare for, I simply don't put in enough time to even fake my way through my lessons, much less a competition. And besides, I've found my niche in music. And it's not classical competitions anymore. It's doing what I do on Wednesday nights with John and Danny and Terry and Britton. It's worship. And with the training I have, I can do that. I can read a piece of music. I can count rhythm. And I'm learning how to chord, but not from my lessons. This is real-life music. I don't think that all those years of classical training were wasted, AT ALL! I think that God used them in a very real way to prepare me for what He's called me to do now. And that was part of a past season of my life.
Of course, not to mention all the money my parents are going to save. Trust me, Robin is NOT cheap!
I really do think that I'm making the right decision. But that doesn't mean that it's easy. Like the hardware store, piano lessons have been a part of my life, almost from the beginning, first with Lorraine, and then with Robin, two women who shaped me into the musician I am today. And it's been good. Piano has been a very good thing in my life. But good things have to end too, and I think it's time.
I think I'm going to talk to my parents tomorrow. Tears are clogging my throat as I write this; it's going to be hard to actually do it. But I need to. It's time. It's time to move on. Grow up a little more, as much as I hate the thought of that. Move on.
Mood: -----
Music: None
Monday, January 01, 2007
2006, Year in Review
It seems to me, that each year’s adventures with God just keep getting better and better, but with each new adventure comes new challenges, and I get stretched in new ways.
2006 started with Seahawk football. The Hawks were whizzing through the NFC West, on a fast track to their first ever Super Bowl appearance. They were making history. I determined that I was not going to listen to the Super Bowl on the radio; this was one game that I was going to crash someone’s party in order to watch on TV! And the party that I chose to crash was, of course, Alise’s. I hung out in the Beaman’s living room all day, eating chips and Nadine’s amazing meatballs, getting frustrated at the referees, and ultimately being gravely disappointed that the Seattle Seahawks ended up being only the second best pro football team in the nation.
But no matter, I headed home. I breezed through the door, said hi to my parents, and was just going up the stairs to my room, when I thought to ask mom about the meeting that she and dad had had that day with a potential buyer for the hardware store. Her response quite literally changed my life as I knew it.
“They bought it, and they’re taking it over tomorrow.”
I couldn’t have been more shocked and in more pain if she had chucked a boulder at my head. I gasped and ran to my room, slammed the door, and spent the next two hours sobbing uncontrollably. That store was my life. I had probably honestly spent more of my seventeen years there than anywhere else. It was my social outlet. I loved the people, they were so dear to me, all these people who had watched me grow up. It was…my life. What on earth was I going to do with myself now?
Despite the intense grief I felt, life went on as “normal” around me. I still had school on Monday, and Alise and I were supposed to leave for our school’s snowboarding trip on Monday afternoon. But that morning I had to get up early and go retrieve all my stuff from the store before school. That was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I was there, all alone, sitting in my office trying to pack my things. I was crying, and trying to talk to God. “Why? Why do this to me now? So suddenly? Without warning? God, are you there??” I sat there as a lifetime of memories washed over me. All the important stuff had happened here. And I was about to walk away…forever.
I went about that week—school, the snow trip—in a sort of numb haze. One of the things that I remember from the snow trip though, that would become very important later, was a conversation I had with Danny on our way back to the lodge from snowboarding on Tuesday. We talked about baptism. I wanted to get baptized, but I was terrified of what my parents (especially my dad) would say about that. I didn’t think that there was any way that I was going to be able to do that before I graduated from high school and moved out of my parent’s house. However, it was good to talk to Danny about it, and he left me with a lot of things to think about.
Wednesday, when I got home, the grief hit again. I couldn’t go anywhere or even hardly think without crying. When I was home, I just slept. Finally mom got mad, saying that enough was enough, I needed to just “snap out of it.”
I certainly didn’t “snap out of it,” but over time, the pain began to lessen. To this day, the pain isn’t completely gone, but as opportunities began to open up for me that never would have been possible had I still worked at the store, I began to see that yes, just maybe God had a hand in this too.
Come spring, I joined the track team. For an “athletically challenged” girl who had never played a sport before, and a homeschooler who had never had any involvement with the public school, that was, to say the least, an experience! I enjoyed it very much though, and came away having learned some valuable lessons.
In May, I started thinking about what my summer plans might be fore the year. I was seriously considering not going to youth camp, because it was my fourth year, and I felt that there might be something else God wanted me to do. It turned out that God did have something else for me, but it included going to Aldersgate.
Enter John Britten and the youth worship team.
In May I started playing the piano for and practicing with the youth worship team that was playing at camp that year. Danny and John asked me if I would be willing to play keyboard, and I apprehensively said yes. Playing backup keyboard is not what I have been trained to do musically, but it sounded like fun, so I agreed to give it a shot.
Little did I know how much fun it was going to be, and how much God was going to use it.
It was a real struggle at first, trying to learn how to break free from the strict classical style of playing that I’d always done. It was downright frustrating at times. Slowly but surely though, I got more and more comfortable. I’m still nowhere near being good at this creative style of playing, but I’m learning! And I was and am having a BLAST.
My summer officially began two days after school got out. My parents and I boarded a plane heading for Kansas City, Missouri to visit my family there, especially my sick grandma. That week turned out to be a huge adventure and a huge blessing. The adventure part is a whole other story, but I was blessed so much to be able to spend such great times with my dad. Mom was frequently at Janie’s house or at the nursing home with Granny, so my dad and I spent a lot of time together, just me and him. We watched a lot of stupid movies on TV, went to the Sonic drive-in, drove around the historic district of old Lexington admiring the gorgeous Southern brick architecture, went looking for the house that he and mom had lived in before they moved to Oregon, and, best of all, got to visit the base where dad had been stationed during his Air Force days. We spent an entire day at Whiteman Air Force Base in Knob Noster at an air show. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven, getting to see real fighter jets and the pilots who flew them up close and personal. We even got to tour the Oscar I Missle Facility, and see stuff that even my dad hadn’t gotten to see even when he was stationed there because of its high-security status. It was one of those days that I will always remember.
The week after my return from Missouri, VBS started at church. We had a prayer meeting on Sunday night before the VBS started, and that was an extremely powerful time. Kaeli, Alise, and I walked around to the different parts of the church and prayed for the kids who would be hearing the Gospel there that week. Kaeli and Alise were working with 3rd grade girls, and I was running sound for the music department in preparation for Jericho.
Just two days after the end of VBS, I headed out again…this time to Linfield College to attend Worldview Academy. It changed my life. I learned so much that it’s mind-boggling, and the week really strengthened my faith and walk with God. Christianity is solid. It can stand up to scrutiny, so don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. It’s when we ask those questions that we grow stronger. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone whose worldview is radically different from yours; all you need to know is what YOU believe, then you’ll see the ways that their beliefs do or don’t line up with the Bible. One of my most amazing experiences at WVA came near the end of the week when they bussed us into Portland to witness to people in Pioneer Square. You see, I’ve led a pretty sheltered life. This is Lewis Co, we don’t have a whole lot of hippie, radical types here. I’d always heard that people who believed in crazy stuff—reincarnation, no heaven and hell, no God, these middle eastern cults, ect—were out there, but I never realized how true it was and that the people who believed these things weren’t all strung out on drugs and mentally ill. Sure, I talked to my share of druggies that day, but many of the people I talked to were what you and I would consider normal folks. Yet they were so lost; so far from the truth. It was a very eye-opening experience.
I came home Friday night, threw all my clothes in the washer, and repacked to leave for Jericho on Saturday morning. Even though this was my second year at Jericho, I wasn’t feeling at all prepared. For some reason I didn’t feel confident at all. I wasn’t sure if I knew the music well enough, I didn’t know if the computer stuff was going to work, and I basically had no idea how everything was going to turn out. But this was ok, because I had to totally trust God to work everything out. I wasn’t relying on my own strength because I totally didn’t have it. I was exhausted, and felt unprepared. And God was my strength. Although the week was full of amazing things, there are two moments that stand out to me.
First was the Sunday night before we started our VBS in Independence, OR. Our team had gone to youth group at the Independence church, and after illegally dismantling fireworks and creating the coolest explosion I’d ever seen, (: we went into the sanctuary of the church to pray for the upcoming week. As we stood in a circle in the darkened room and praying for the kids who would come into our lives that week, God showed up. There were passionate prayers sent heavenward and we knew that God was there. Not just out there somewhere, but there. In our midst.
The other moment that stands out to me was later in the week, after we had done door-to-door surveys in Springfield. That particular assignment had been hard on my three-person team, and after it was over, I was left feeling like a failure. After the debriefing meeting, when everyone had left, I stayed in the room talking to Kaeli, Alise, and Heidi about what had happened. The three of us talked and prayed together for a long time, and afterwards, I knew in a whole new way how our God is a God of forgiveness and second chances.
We saw God move and work in amazing ways during the Jericho week. Dozens of people came to know the Lord, not only in Monmouth and Independence, but all over the Willamette Valley. Equally amazing, was seeing God work in our own hearts and lives as a team. We bonded as a team, and that bond was strengthened by the time we spent praying and worshipping together, as well as just talking, hanging out, and having fun.
After Jericho, I had almost a week to do my laundry before leaving for youth camp. This was something else that I felt woefully unprepared for. There were about three songs that we had practiced a lot that I felt ready for, but the dozens of other songs that we were playing, we had never practiced. Ahhh!
Another cool and different thing that I got to do at youth camp this year, was being able to go down to Turner with the advance team on Saturday. Yes, more bonding time! Seriously! I got to meet and hang out with Alison (Joe’s fiancé) as well as the Texas revival team, and that was a huge blessing. I can’t even describe how cool it was to spend time with people in small chunks this summer. Because when you’re spending time with people in small groups, away from the people you normally hang out with, you get to know each other in ways that you never would have any other way. Good times.
After two days of setting up camp in the SCORTCHING heat, everyone else arrived, and camp 2006 officially began. Worship went so well. We got better and better with each set we played, as each of us became more comfortable with the music. God did awesome things that week through the preaching of Mike Thibodeaux (pronounced Tib-a-doe) who was our camp pastor. Many kids got their hearts right with God and that was amazing to see.
Ok, now in order to talk about kids camp, you’ll have to rewind a few weeks to Jericho. Danny had come down to visit all of us there one day, and had brought with him a stack of Bible study books called “Jesus on Leadership” which he was requiring every youth who wanted to go to kids camp to complete. He asked me if I would take the study too, even though I couldn’t be a counselor and didn’t know for sure if I was going to kids camp at all, because he said he thought it would be good for me. It looked like a great study, so I agreed. So for the past about 3 weeks, I had been working through this study, learning tons, and trying to decide if God wanted me to go to kids camp or not. And if He did, then what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t be a counselor, so why should I go?
When I had planned my summer, kids camp hadn’t been part of the original plan. I had never said flat out that I WASN’T going, but I had just figured that I wouldn’t. But also at the beginning of the summer, I had totally surrendered this time to God, saying that I was going to do whatever He had planned for me this summer.
So as I began to think and pray about the possibility of going to Clearlake, God began to make it crystal clear to me that this was indeed, part of His plan for this season of my life. My parents weren’t too thrilled that I was leaving for ANOTHER week because I really needed to get a job and earn some money, but they said that the decision was up to me. I talked to DeWayne and Mike and learned that they really needed kitchen help, so off I went to Clearlake with Shelley McAleney. Again, I went with the advance team to help Shelley with all the kitchen prep, and that was super fun! MORE bonding time!! The night before the kids got there, me and DeWayne and Spencer and Rachel Shepherd (one of the members of the LA revival team from last summer) and Jordon, and more people that I’m sure I’m forgetting, sat up in the dining room half the night eating Otter Pops, giving DW new ideas for funny songs to write on the guitar, and pretty much laughing hysterically.
Then the campers showed up and work began. If you’ve never worked in a kitchen serving very large amounts of people, you can’t really appreciate the incredible amount of work that goes into feeding a ton of hungry campers. It was exhausting, yes, but I was so glad to be there, I didn’t care. Shelley was great about letting me off to go to the youth devotionals and campfires and worship times. I got to know some awesome ladies working in the kitchen that, again, I would probably never have gotten to know otherwise. The campfires, worship, and devotionals were amazing, but also very cool was the times, early in the morning, that I would spend down by the lake, just me and God. Sitting there, surrounded by the some of the most incredible beauty I’ve ever seen, talking to my Creator. Wow. Yeah.
So after kids camp, my “summer” was technically over. But I wasn’t done spending time cultivating the awesome friendships that had blossomed over the summer. Bonfires at the Britten’s and McCurry’s houses created more special memories to top off my amazing summer.
I was working for the Krenelka’s, helping them get ready for the beginning of school, when another huge change shook my life. We had just finished getting all the beginning-of-the-year packets together, and I was hand-delivering the Beaman’s packet since I knew I would see Alise that day. I got off work and headed up to the high school to find her, since I figured she would be at soccer practice. I found her alright, and handed her the packet. She got a weird look on her face and was like, “Oh, well, um…we might not be going back to learning center this year, John and I might be going to public school full time.” I was shocked. Wow. That was huge.
And go to public school they did. I can only imagine how Alise must have felt; but all I know is how confused and stressed I was. I ended up going to THS for one period as well, and that was hard enough. I couldn’t imagine going full time.
But now, with me going to three different schools, and Alise going full time at Toledo as well as the time commitments that soccer took up, I hardly saw her anymore. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just logistics.
Just a few weeks after I started at Toledo, I began my freshman year of college. Trying to figure out college life, as well as balance LCLC and THS, threw me for a loop. I was hopelessly overwhelmed, getting very little sleep, and hating every second of school. The song “Stand in the Rain” by Superchic[k] became my motto. “She wants to be found, the only way out is through everything she’s running from, wants to give up and lie down.”
There were days that I would get in my car after my college classes to drive home and simply burst into tears. I didn’t see any way out from the stress that was controlling my life. I never saw my best friend anymore, and I missed her. I didn’t know how things could get any better, and I spent a ridiculous amount of time bawling.
Slowly though, things began to get a little better. I started to get into the swing of things at college and I was getting good grades at THS. My learning center stuff was going to pot, but I didn’t care too much at that point.
I started to get involved with Young Life as a way to reach out to kids at THS. God was opening my eyes to the incredible hurts and needs at the school, and I desperately wanted, in some way, to reach out and show God’s love to these hurting kids. Through YL, God has been helping me to build relationships with some kids from the school, and that has been exciting.
Also in the fall, Laurell started attending children’s choir classes at TFB. Her class would sing at Sunday services sometimes, and Christina and Dick and their family would come and watch. Walker and Laurell grew to love going to their Sunday school classes, and their new friends there, so Christina now goes to church with me on a pretty regular basis. That has been a definite God-thing.
But the apex of my year came in December. I was saying goodnight to my parents one evening, and my dad said, “Hold on a minute Carrie, we need to talk to you.” He said that I was almost 18, and could pretty much do whatever I wanted to. He went on to say that he knew that I was happy in the my church, and although he was a little sad that I had rejected the catholic church, that if I wanted to become a member at TFB, then I had his and mom's blessing. He also said how proud they were of me that I had made such an effort in these last several years to honor them, and that they could see how much I had grown in that church.
For lack of a more eloquent phrase, I was so happy!! I hugged my parents and thanked them, and as soon as I walked out of the room, I broke down into happy tears. I laughed and smiled and thanked God through the tears that were streaming down my face. Since all my talks with Danny about honoring my parents, it blessed me so much to hear them say that they had noticed, and appreciated that.
So last night, December 31, 2006, I got baptized. Through some crazy turns of events, (Pastor Joe falling off his roof) Danny ended up doing my baptism, and that turned out awesome. My parents even came, and the words Danny said were perfect. God is so faithful. Just when you think that all your prayers have been in vain, and that He has forgotten about you, He proves Himself to be so incredibly faithful. But when I look back at this year, I can’t say that He ever forgot about me. He was there every step of the way, leading, guiding, encouraging, and holding me up.
Psalm 37:3-6 Trust in the Lord, and do good, dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him. And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
-Carrie Emeline
January 1, 2007
2006 started with Seahawk football. The Hawks were whizzing through the NFC West, on a fast track to their first ever Super Bowl appearance. They were making history. I determined that I was not going to listen to the Super Bowl on the radio; this was one game that I was going to crash someone’s party in order to watch on TV! And the party that I chose to crash was, of course, Alise’s. I hung out in the Beaman’s living room all day, eating chips and Nadine’s amazing meatballs, getting frustrated at the referees, and ultimately being gravely disappointed that the Seattle Seahawks ended up being only the second best pro football team in the nation.
But no matter, I headed home. I breezed through the door, said hi to my parents, and was just going up the stairs to my room, when I thought to ask mom about the meeting that she and dad had had that day with a potential buyer for the hardware store. Her response quite literally changed my life as I knew it.
“They bought it, and they’re taking it over tomorrow.”
I couldn’t have been more shocked and in more pain if she had chucked a boulder at my head. I gasped and ran to my room, slammed the door, and spent the next two hours sobbing uncontrollably. That store was my life. I had probably honestly spent more of my seventeen years there than anywhere else. It was my social outlet. I loved the people, they were so dear to me, all these people who had watched me grow up. It was…my life. What on earth was I going to do with myself now?
Despite the intense grief I felt, life went on as “normal” around me. I still had school on Monday, and Alise and I were supposed to leave for our school’s snowboarding trip on Monday afternoon. But that morning I had to get up early and go retrieve all my stuff from the store before school. That was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I was there, all alone, sitting in my office trying to pack my things. I was crying, and trying to talk to God. “Why? Why do this to me now? So suddenly? Without warning? God, are you there??” I sat there as a lifetime of memories washed over me. All the important stuff had happened here. And I was about to walk away…forever.
I went about that week—school, the snow trip—in a sort of numb haze. One of the things that I remember from the snow trip though, that would become very important later, was a conversation I had with Danny on our way back to the lodge from snowboarding on Tuesday. We talked about baptism. I wanted to get baptized, but I was terrified of what my parents (especially my dad) would say about that. I didn’t think that there was any way that I was going to be able to do that before I graduated from high school and moved out of my parent’s house. However, it was good to talk to Danny about it, and he left me with a lot of things to think about.
Wednesday, when I got home, the grief hit again. I couldn’t go anywhere or even hardly think without crying. When I was home, I just slept. Finally mom got mad, saying that enough was enough, I needed to just “snap out of it.”
I certainly didn’t “snap out of it,” but over time, the pain began to lessen. To this day, the pain isn’t completely gone, but as opportunities began to open up for me that never would have been possible had I still worked at the store, I began to see that yes, just maybe God had a hand in this too.
Come spring, I joined the track team. For an “athletically challenged” girl who had never played a sport before, and a homeschooler who had never had any involvement with the public school, that was, to say the least, an experience! I enjoyed it very much though, and came away having learned some valuable lessons.
In May, I started thinking about what my summer plans might be fore the year. I was seriously considering not going to youth camp, because it was my fourth year, and I felt that there might be something else God wanted me to do. It turned out that God did have something else for me, but it included going to Aldersgate.
Enter John Britten and the youth worship team.
In May I started playing the piano for and practicing with the youth worship team that was playing at camp that year. Danny and John asked me if I would be willing to play keyboard, and I apprehensively said yes. Playing backup keyboard is not what I have been trained to do musically, but it sounded like fun, so I agreed to give it a shot.
Little did I know how much fun it was going to be, and how much God was going to use it.
It was a real struggle at first, trying to learn how to break free from the strict classical style of playing that I’d always done. It was downright frustrating at times. Slowly but surely though, I got more and more comfortable. I’m still nowhere near being good at this creative style of playing, but I’m learning! And I was and am having a BLAST.
My summer officially began two days after school got out. My parents and I boarded a plane heading for Kansas City, Missouri to visit my family there, especially my sick grandma. That week turned out to be a huge adventure and a huge blessing. The adventure part is a whole other story, but I was blessed so much to be able to spend such great times with my dad. Mom was frequently at Janie’s house or at the nursing home with Granny, so my dad and I spent a lot of time together, just me and him. We watched a lot of stupid movies on TV, went to the Sonic drive-in, drove around the historic district of old Lexington admiring the gorgeous Southern brick architecture, went looking for the house that he and mom had lived in before they moved to Oregon, and, best of all, got to visit the base where dad had been stationed during his Air Force days. We spent an entire day at Whiteman Air Force Base in Knob Noster at an air show. I thought I’d died and gone to heaven, getting to see real fighter jets and the pilots who flew them up close and personal. We even got to tour the Oscar I Missle Facility, and see stuff that even my dad hadn’t gotten to see even when he was stationed there because of its high-security status. It was one of those days that I will always remember.
The week after my return from Missouri, VBS started at church. We had a prayer meeting on Sunday night before the VBS started, and that was an extremely powerful time. Kaeli, Alise, and I walked around to the different parts of the church and prayed for the kids who would be hearing the Gospel there that week. Kaeli and Alise were working with 3rd grade girls, and I was running sound for the music department in preparation for Jericho.
Just two days after the end of VBS, I headed out again…this time to Linfield College to attend Worldview Academy. It changed my life. I learned so much that it’s mind-boggling, and the week really strengthened my faith and walk with God. Christianity is solid. It can stand up to scrutiny, so don’t be afraid to ask the hard questions. It’s when we ask those questions that we grow stronger. Don’t be afraid to talk to someone whose worldview is radically different from yours; all you need to know is what YOU believe, then you’ll see the ways that their beliefs do or don’t line up with the Bible. One of my most amazing experiences at WVA came near the end of the week when they bussed us into Portland to witness to people in Pioneer Square. You see, I’ve led a pretty sheltered life. This is Lewis Co, we don’t have a whole lot of hippie, radical types here. I’d always heard that people who believed in crazy stuff—reincarnation, no heaven and hell, no God, these middle eastern cults, ect—were out there, but I never realized how true it was and that the people who believed these things weren’t all strung out on drugs and mentally ill. Sure, I talked to my share of druggies that day, but many of the people I talked to were what you and I would consider normal folks. Yet they were so lost; so far from the truth. It was a very eye-opening experience.
I came home Friday night, threw all my clothes in the washer, and repacked to leave for Jericho on Saturday morning. Even though this was my second year at Jericho, I wasn’t feeling at all prepared. For some reason I didn’t feel confident at all. I wasn’t sure if I knew the music well enough, I didn’t know if the computer stuff was going to work, and I basically had no idea how everything was going to turn out. But this was ok, because I had to totally trust God to work everything out. I wasn’t relying on my own strength because I totally didn’t have it. I was exhausted, and felt unprepared. And God was my strength. Although the week was full of amazing things, there are two moments that stand out to me.
First was the Sunday night before we started our VBS in Independence, OR. Our team had gone to youth group at the Independence church, and after illegally dismantling fireworks and creating the coolest explosion I’d ever seen, (: we went into the sanctuary of the church to pray for the upcoming week. As we stood in a circle in the darkened room and praying for the kids who would come into our lives that week, God showed up. There were passionate prayers sent heavenward and we knew that God was there. Not just out there somewhere, but there. In our midst.
The other moment that stands out to me was later in the week, after we had done door-to-door surveys in Springfield. That particular assignment had been hard on my three-person team, and after it was over, I was left feeling like a failure. After the debriefing meeting, when everyone had left, I stayed in the room talking to Kaeli, Alise, and Heidi about what had happened. The three of us talked and prayed together for a long time, and afterwards, I knew in a whole new way how our God is a God of forgiveness and second chances.
We saw God move and work in amazing ways during the Jericho week. Dozens of people came to know the Lord, not only in Monmouth and Independence, but all over the Willamette Valley. Equally amazing, was seeing God work in our own hearts and lives as a team. We bonded as a team, and that bond was strengthened by the time we spent praying and worshipping together, as well as just talking, hanging out, and having fun.
After Jericho, I had almost a week to do my laundry before leaving for youth camp. This was something else that I felt woefully unprepared for. There were about three songs that we had practiced a lot that I felt ready for, but the dozens of other songs that we were playing, we had never practiced. Ahhh!
Another cool and different thing that I got to do at youth camp this year, was being able to go down to Turner with the advance team on Saturday. Yes, more bonding time! Seriously! I got to meet and hang out with Alison (Joe’s fiancé) as well as the Texas revival team, and that was a huge blessing. I can’t even describe how cool it was to spend time with people in small chunks this summer. Because when you’re spending time with people in small groups, away from the people you normally hang out with, you get to know each other in ways that you never would have any other way. Good times.
After two days of setting up camp in the SCORTCHING heat, everyone else arrived, and camp 2006 officially began. Worship went so well. We got better and better with each set we played, as each of us became more comfortable with the music. God did awesome things that week through the preaching of Mike Thibodeaux (pronounced Tib-a-doe) who was our camp pastor. Many kids got their hearts right with God and that was amazing to see.
Ok, now in order to talk about kids camp, you’ll have to rewind a few weeks to Jericho. Danny had come down to visit all of us there one day, and had brought with him a stack of Bible study books called “Jesus on Leadership” which he was requiring every youth who wanted to go to kids camp to complete. He asked me if I would take the study too, even though I couldn’t be a counselor and didn’t know for sure if I was going to kids camp at all, because he said he thought it would be good for me. It looked like a great study, so I agreed. So for the past about 3 weeks, I had been working through this study, learning tons, and trying to decide if God wanted me to go to kids camp or not. And if He did, then what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t be a counselor, so why should I go?
When I had planned my summer, kids camp hadn’t been part of the original plan. I had never said flat out that I WASN’T going, but I had just figured that I wouldn’t. But also at the beginning of the summer, I had totally surrendered this time to God, saying that I was going to do whatever He had planned for me this summer.
So as I began to think and pray about the possibility of going to Clearlake, God began to make it crystal clear to me that this was indeed, part of His plan for this season of my life. My parents weren’t too thrilled that I was leaving for ANOTHER week because I really needed to get a job and earn some money, but they said that the decision was up to me. I talked to DeWayne and Mike and learned that they really needed kitchen help, so off I went to Clearlake with Shelley McAleney. Again, I went with the advance team to help Shelley with all the kitchen prep, and that was super fun! MORE bonding time!! The night before the kids got there, me and DeWayne and Spencer and Rachel Shepherd (one of the members of the LA revival team from last summer) and Jordon, and more people that I’m sure I’m forgetting, sat up in the dining room half the night eating Otter Pops, giving DW new ideas for funny songs to write on the guitar, and pretty much laughing hysterically.
Then the campers showed up and work began. If you’ve never worked in a kitchen serving very large amounts of people, you can’t really appreciate the incredible amount of work that goes into feeding a ton of hungry campers. It was exhausting, yes, but I was so glad to be there, I didn’t care. Shelley was great about letting me off to go to the youth devotionals and campfires and worship times. I got to know some awesome ladies working in the kitchen that, again, I would probably never have gotten to know otherwise. The campfires, worship, and devotionals were amazing, but also very cool was the times, early in the morning, that I would spend down by the lake, just me and God. Sitting there, surrounded by the some of the most incredible beauty I’ve ever seen, talking to my Creator. Wow. Yeah.
So after kids camp, my “summer” was technically over. But I wasn’t done spending time cultivating the awesome friendships that had blossomed over the summer. Bonfires at the Britten’s and McCurry’s houses created more special memories to top off my amazing summer.
I was working for the Krenelka’s, helping them get ready for the beginning of school, when another huge change shook my life. We had just finished getting all the beginning-of-the-year packets together, and I was hand-delivering the Beaman’s packet since I knew I would see Alise that day. I got off work and headed up to the high school to find her, since I figured she would be at soccer practice. I found her alright, and handed her the packet. She got a weird look on her face and was like, “Oh, well, um…we might not be going back to learning center this year, John and I might be going to public school full time.” I was shocked. Wow. That was huge.
And go to public school they did. I can only imagine how Alise must have felt; but all I know is how confused and stressed I was. I ended up going to THS for one period as well, and that was hard enough. I couldn’t imagine going full time.
But now, with me going to three different schools, and Alise going full time at Toledo as well as the time commitments that soccer took up, I hardly saw her anymore. It wasn’t anyone’s fault, it was just logistics.
Just a few weeks after I started at Toledo, I began my freshman year of college. Trying to figure out college life, as well as balance LCLC and THS, threw me for a loop. I was hopelessly overwhelmed, getting very little sleep, and hating every second of school. The song “Stand in the Rain” by Superchic[k] became my motto. “She wants to be found, the only way out is through everything she’s running from, wants to give up and lie down.”
There were days that I would get in my car after my college classes to drive home and simply burst into tears. I didn’t see any way out from the stress that was controlling my life. I never saw my best friend anymore, and I missed her. I didn’t know how things could get any better, and I spent a ridiculous amount of time bawling.
Slowly though, things began to get a little better. I started to get into the swing of things at college and I was getting good grades at THS. My learning center stuff was going to pot, but I didn’t care too much at that point.
I started to get involved with Young Life as a way to reach out to kids at THS. God was opening my eyes to the incredible hurts and needs at the school, and I desperately wanted, in some way, to reach out and show God’s love to these hurting kids. Through YL, God has been helping me to build relationships with some kids from the school, and that has been exciting.
Also in the fall, Laurell started attending children’s choir classes at TFB. Her class would sing at Sunday services sometimes, and Christina and Dick and their family would come and watch. Walker and Laurell grew to love going to their Sunday school classes, and their new friends there, so Christina now goes to church with me on a pretty regular basis. That has been a definite God-thing.
But the apex of my year came in December. I was saying goodnight to my parents one evening, and my dad said, “Hold on a minute Carrie, we need to talk to you.” He said that I was almost 18, and could pretty much do whatever I wanted to. He went on to say that he knew that I was happy in the my church, and although he was a little sad that I had rejected the catholic church, that if I wanted to become a member at TFB, then I had his and mom's blessing. He also said how proud they were of me that I had made such an effort in these last several years to honor them, and that they could see how much I had grown in that church.
For lack of a more eloquent phrase, I was so happy!! I hugged my parents and thanked them, and as soon as I walked out of the room, I broke down into happy tears. I laughed and smiled and thanked God through the tears that were streaming down my face. Since all my talks with Danny about honoring my parents, it blessed me so much to hear them say that they had noticed, and appreciated that.
So last night, December 31, 2006, I got baptized. Through some crazy turns of events, (Pastor Joe falling off his roof) Danny ended up doing my baptism, and that turned out awesome. My parents even came, and the words Danny said were perfect. God is so faithful. Just when you think that all your prayers have been in vain, and that He has forgotten about you, He proves Himself to be so incredibly faithful. But when I look back at this year, I can’t say that He ever forgot about me. He was there every step of the way, leading, guiding, encouraging, and holding me up.
Psalm 37:3-6 Trust in the Lord, and do good, dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him. And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
-Carrie Emeline
January 1, 2007
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Anticipation!
There are so many things to look forward to right now, the three main ones being Christmas, snowboarding, and my baptism!
So yes, first off is Christmas. I can barely believe that Christmas Eve is TOMORROW! I'm purty excited, and I finally finished my wrapping tonight. I finished putting Alise's present together, nearly burned the house down, and got my parent's presents wrapped. Yeah! Mom is making manicotti for our "Christmas Eve Dinner" tomorrow night... which is going to be way too quiet, formal, and boring, seeing as it's just going to be my parents and me. After dinner, we'll open presents, one at a time, neatly throw away the wrapping paper, and politely thank each other, WAY TOO QUIETLY! I much prefer having all thirteen members of my family here, screaming and yelling like wild banshees, ripping into presents, and having paper flying through the air. But Dick and Christina will be at Dick's parent's house tomorrow night, and Joe and Carol are in Cali. We'll all be together on the 30th though, and I'm pretty stoked about that.
And speaking of my large family, Joe and Carol announced on Wednesday night that they're expecting again in July!! Yes, that means that I'll be aunt Carrie to SEVEN nieces and nephews! Sheesh, I just got used to saying that I had SIX! But of course I'm very excited, and I really really hope that they have a boy. Having a little Ben running around would be too cool.
The day after Christmas, Tuesday, I'm heading off for a glorious three days of snow odyssey! YAHOO! I'm just a little excited about getting to use my board again! :) Please pray for the trip though, I'm excited about the kids we have going, and I hope that they'll really be impacted this week.
And finally, in another 8 days, I'm getting baptized! I think my parents are even coming, which is a huge shocker! But that also makes me a little nervous, even though I'm not sure why. It'll be fine, I'm sure. I'm almost counting the hours now, I'm so excited!!
Mood: Happy
Music: "Sweet Home Alabama" Lynyrd Skynard
So yes, first off is Christmas. I can barely believe that Christmas Eve is TOMORROW! I'm purty excited, and I finally finished my wrapping tonight. I finished putting Alise's present together, nearly burned the house down, and got my parent's presents wrapped. Yeah! Mom is making manicotti for our "Christmas Eve Dinner" tomorrow night... which is going to be way too quiet, formal, and boring, seeing as it's just going to be my parents and me. After dinner, we'll open presents, one at a time, neatly throw away the wrapping paper, and politely thank each other, WAY TOO QUIETLY! I much prefer having all thirteen members of my family here, screaming and yelling like wild banshees, ripping into presents, and having paper flying through the air. But Dick and Christina will be at Dick's parent's house tomorrow night, and Joe and Carol are in Cali. We'll all be together on the 30th though, and I'm pretty stoked about that.
And speaking of my large family, Joe and Carol announced on Wednesday night that they're expecting again in July!! Yes, that means that I'll be aunt Carrie to SEVEN nieces and nephews! Sheesh, I just got used to saying that I had SIX! But of course I'm very excited, and I really really hope that they have a boy. Having a little Ben running around would be too cool.
The day after Christmas, Tuesday, I'm heading off for a glorious three days of snow odyssey! YAHOO! I'm just a little excited about getting to use my board again! :) Please pray for the trip though, I'm excited about the kids we have going, and I hope that they'll really be impacted this week.
And finally, in another 8 days, I'm getting baptized! I think my parents are even coming, which is a huge shocker! But that also makes me a little nervous, even though I'm not sure why. It'll be fine, I'm sure. I'm almost counting the hours now, I'm so excited!!
Mood: Happy
Music: "Sweet Home Alabama" Lynyrd Skynard
Friday, December 08, 2006
Happy Tears
March 05, 2005
Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen!
Almost two years ago, I was clinging to this verse as I prepared to ask my parents if I could do the missions Bible study at church, go to Jericho, and start attending services on Sunday morning. Beside this verse in my Bible, I have written, "03-05-05, HE IS ABLE!!" And God has proven Himself to be able over and over again. But for many years, even before that March two years ago, I have struggled to balance honoring my parents with being effective and obedient in the church that God had placed me in. I wanted to be baptized in the worst kind of way. I had several long talks with Danny about baptism, and in my case, balancing that with honoring and respecting my parents. I didn't see any way to get baptized without being kicked out of my family and my home. Even though I continued to pray about it fervently, I had decided that I was going to have to wait until I graduated from high school and moved out.
Now fast-forward almost two years.
December 8, 2006
Psalm 37:3-6 Trust in the Lord, and do good, dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him. And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Tonight, I was sitting in my parent's bedroom, and we were reading a book for school. We had finished, and I was getting ready to leave, and Dad says, "Hold on a second, Carrie, we need to talk to you." I knew right away that it was something serious. He began to say that I was almost 18, and could pretty much do whatever I wanted to. He went on to say that he knew that I was happy in the baptist church, and although he was a little sad that I had rejected the catholic church, that if I wanted to become a member there, I had his and mom's blessing. He also said how proud they were of me that I had made such an effort in these last several years to honor them, and that they could see how much I had grown in that church.
For lack of a more eloquent phrase, I was so happy!! I hugged my parents and thanked them, and as soon as I walked out of the room, I broke down into happy tears. I am laughing and smiling and thanking God through the tears that are streaming down my face. Since all my talks with Danny about honoring my parents, it blessed me so much to hear them say that they had noticed, and appreciated that. They asked if I would please keep going to church with them while I live at home, and I'll do that. It's only an hour a week; a small price to pay!
I GET TO BE BAPTIZED!!! Just writing that made me start crying again; I am so overwhelmed at the faithfulness of God. I look back at the journey I've taken to get here. A journey that started way back in 2000, I think it was, when, through a strange set of circumstances, I realized that God had somewhere else for me to be besides the catholic church, and I recommitted my life to Him, and started trying to find that place. After two years of praying for a church, and a way to get there, since I knew my parents were bound to be opposed to it, God sent Beth. That started me going to youth group on Wednesday nights. And finally, youth group led to youth camp, eventually to Sundays and Sunday nights, to Jericho and working at kids camp. I know that this is where God wants me and where He wants to use me.
And with baptism, there are so many other cool things that come with that!!!! I can be a counselor at kids camp!!! I can work in VBS, I help with kids on Wednesday nights, I can teach Sunday school!!!
I can't wait to tell Danny! And Alise! And Beth! I'm writing this post on Friday night but I'm not going to post it until I talk to Alise, because I don't want her to read it before she hears it from me. God is so faithful!! Just when you think that all your prayers have been in vain, and that He has forgotten about you, He proves Himself to be so incredibly faithful.
Psalm 34:1-3 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.
Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen!
Almost two years ago, I was clinging to this verse as I prepared to ask my parents if I could do the missions Bible study at church, go to Jericho, and start attending services on Sunday morning. Beside this verse in my Bible, I have written, "03-05-05, HE IS ABLE!!" And God has proven Himself to be able over and over again. But for many years, even before that March two years ago, I have struggled to balance honoring my parents with being effective and obedient in the church that God had placed me in. I wanted to be baptized in the worst kind of way. I had several long talks with Danny about baptism, and in my case, balancing that with honoring and respecting my parents. I didn't see any way to get baptized without being kicked out of my family and my home. Even though I continued to pray about it fervently, I had decided that I was going to have to wait until I graduated from high school and moved out.
Now fast-forward almost two years.
December 8, 2006
Psalm 37:3-6 Trust in the Lord, and do good, dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him. And He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday.
Tonight, I was sitting in my parent's bedroom, and we were reading a book for school. We had finished, and I was getting ready to leave, and Dad says, "Hold on a second, Carrie, we need to talk to you." I knew right away that it was something serious. He began to say that I was almost 18, and could pretty much do whatever I wanted to. He went on to say that he knew that I was happy in the baptist church, and although he was a little sad that I had rejected the catholic church, that if I wanted to become a member there, I had his and mom's blessing. He also said how proud they were of me that I had made such an effort in these last several years to honor them, and that they could see how much I had grown in that church.
For lack of a more eloquent phrase, I was so happy!! I hugged my parents and thanked them, and as soon as I walked out of the room, I broke down into happy tears. I am laughing and smiling and thanking God through the tears that are streaming down my face. Since all my talks with Danny about honoring my parents, it blessed me so much to hear them say that they had noticed, and appreciated that. They asked if I would please keep going to church with them while I live at home, and I'll do that. It's only an hour a week; a small price to pay!
I GET TO BE BAPTIZED!!! Just writing that made me start crying again; I am so overwhelmed at the faithfulness of God. I look back at the journey I've taken to get here. A journey that started way back in 2000, I think it was, when, through a strange set of circumstances, I realized that God had somewhere else for me to be besides the catholic church, and I recommitted my life to Him, and started trying to find that place. After two years of praying for a church, and a way to get there, since I knew my parents were bound to be opposed to it, God sent Beth. That started me going to youth group on Wednesday nights. And finally, youth group led to youth camp, eventually to Sundays and Sunday nights, to Jericho and working at kids camp. I know that this is where God wants me and where He wants to use me.
And with baptism, there are so many other cool things that come with that!!!! I can be a counselor at kids camp!!! I can work in VBS, I help with kids on Wednesday nights, I can teach Sunday school!!!
I can't wait to tell Danny! And Alise! And Beth! I'm writing this post on Friday night but I'm not going to post it until I talk to Alise, because I don't want her to read it before she hears it from me. God is so faithful!! Just when you think that all your prayers have been in vain, and that He has forgotten about you, He proves Himself to be so incredibly faithful.
Psalm 34:1-3 I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul shall make its boast in the Lord; the humble shall hear of it and be glad. Oh, magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Ryker Thomas
Isn't he a total stud?!
Name: Ryker Thomas
Born: Thursday, August 31, 1:10 pm
Weight: 9 pounds 13 ounces
Length: 21 3/4 inches
Monday, August 07, 2006
Kids Camp and College
Yay! I’m home again! (Wow, it seems like I start almost every post with that line, eh?) Children’s Camp was incredible. Twenty-two kids gave their lives to the Lord including two that I sort of knew pretty well, so that was awesome. At night we would have youth devotion time around the camp fire and then go lay on the dock and look at the stars. That was incredible because you can see THOUSANDS of stars and it is absolutely breathtaking. Most mornings I got up and had my quiet time by the lake, and that was awesome as well to watch the sunrise.
Being on the kitchen crew was REALLY hard work, but I had fun!! I got to work with some neat ladies, and it was certainly a good growing and learning experience. Someday though, I want to be a counselor.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve been trying to finalize my plans for the next school year, and that has been very frustrating. Right now I’m trying to get into an Intro to Business, PE, and a Chemistry class at CC in addition to the Spanish class I’m already registered for. I should be able to get an appointment with my advisor tomorrow to finalize things. I only have a month until school starts and my schedule becomes insane, so consequently I’m incredibly stressed. So I’m doing what I always do when I’m stressed. I’m cleaning/organizing my room in a systematic counter-clockwise direction.
Mood: Tired (of course)
Music: “Beverly Hills” by Weezer
Being on the kitchen crew was REALLY hard work, but I had fun!! I got to work with some neat ladies, and it was certainly a good growing and learning experience. Someday though, I want to be a counselor.
Since I’ve been home, I’ve been trying to finalize my plans for the next school year, and that has been very frustrating. Right now I’m trying to get into an Intro to Business, PE, and a Chemistry class at CC in addition to the Spanish class I’m already registered for. I should be able to get an appointment with my advisor tomorrow to finalize things. I only have a month until school starts and my schedule becomes insane, so consequently I’m incredibly stressed. So I’m doing what I always do when I’m stressed. I’m cleaning/organizing my room in a systematic counter-clockwise direction.
Mood: Tired (of course)
Music: “Beverly Hills” by Weezer
Friday, July 28, 2006
And Then I Said...
It's nice to be home again! At this blessed moment I am enjoying my fuzzy sweats and favorite tank top while sitting on my couch. Yes, it's been wonderful being gone this summer, but right now I'm really glad to have my own bed and my own shower for two or three days. (-:
Youth camp was amazing. I think that I'm too tired to do a complete and coherent summary of it right now, but I'll hit a few of the main points.
- Fifteen kids got saved!!
- "Goin' to the Chapel" ... need I say more? (-:
- YWAM
God is so amazing. I've always struggled with knowing for sure if God is telling me to do something or not... like I always wonder if maybe it was just my weird, random brain making things up or if it's really God speaking to me. And then if things start going wrong while I'm trying to do what I think God has told me to do, then is that Satan trying to thwart God's plan or is that God trying to close doors because I made it all up in my head in the first place? But all of that to say that I am so positive that God is sending me to children's camp for a reason, that I am almost giddy with excitement. I wasn't even planning on going to kids camp until two weeks ago, and I struggled with saying for sure I was going or not because my parents were a little bit upset about it. But since I decided that I really thought that God wanted me to go, and told DeWayne, that yes, I was going for sure, God has just confirmed that decision in so many ways!! I know that God wants me to be at Clearlake next week. I'm so pumped!!
But right now I think that I'm going to crash right here from sheer exhastion, so I think I'll bid you adieu before my head hits the keyboard and deletes all of this. But I have to say one more thing before I go to bed... you guys (my friends) are some of the most awesome people on the face of this earth, and I am so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. Thanks guys for being so incredible!!!!
Mood: Exhausted
Music: "Anticonformity" Krystal Meyers
DISCLAIMER: Yes, Alise, I know that my title is your phrase, but I really needed a title, and it was funny... please don't pummel me!! (-:
Youth camp was amazing. I think that I'm too tired to do a complete and coherent summary of it right now, but I'll hit a few of the main points.
- Fifteen kids got saved!!
- "Goin' to the Chapel" ... need I say more? (-:
- YWAM
God is so amazing. I've always struggled with knowing for sure if God is telling me to do something or not... like I always wonder if maybe it was just my weird, random brain making things up or if it's really God speaking to me. And then if things start going wrong while I'm trying to do what I think God has told me to do, then is that Satan trying to thwart God's plan or is that God trying to close doors because I made it all up in my head in the first place? But all of that to say that I am so positive that God is sending me to children's camp for a reason, that I am almost giddy with excitement. I wasn't even planning on going to kids camp until two weeks ago, and I struggled with saying for sure I was going or not because my parents were a little bit upset about it. But since I decided that I really thought that God wanted me to go, and told DeWayne, that yes, I was going for sure, God has just confirmed that decision in so many ways!! I know that God wants me to be at Clearlake next week. I'm so pumped!!
But right now I think that I'm going to crash right here from sheer exhastion, so I think I'll bid you adieu before my head hits the keyboard and deletes all of this. But I have to say one more thing before I go to bed... you guys (my friends) are some of the most awesome people on the face of this earth, and I am so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life. Thanks guys for being so incredible!!!!
Mood: Exhausted
Music: "Anticonformity" Krystal Meyers
DISCLAIMER: Yes, Alise, I know that my title is your phrase, but I really needed a title, and it was funny... please don't pummel me!! (-:
Monday, July 17, 2006
Well, Here Goes
Yeppers, here it goes. My big, long, crazy blog update!! (-: Wow, I can’t even remember what I last wrote about, so I guess I’ll start with Worldview.
Worldview Academy was AMAZING. I am completely convinced that every Christian teen on the planet needs to attend a WVA. I learned so much, that my brain is still spinning! Christianity just makes so much sense!! The speakers were awesome, quiet times were amazing, my small group was incredible, and Ultimate Frisbee was a blast, of course! The coolest thing in the whole week though was on Wednesday when they bussed us into Portland and we had an hour to witness to people in Pioneer Square. I was a little nervous when we started, but when we had to leave, I didn’t want to go. The hopelessness I saw in the people I talked to just broke my heart. Some of these people truly believed that there was no way they could know what happens after death, and that there was nothing they could do about it. I can’t even imagine how pointless life would seem if this was really all there was. I tried to tell them about the hope of Heaven that they could have in Jesus, but I don’t know how much of it got through. God promises though, that His Word will not return to Him void, so I know that many many seeds were planted in hearts that day. It was an amazing experience.
So I got home from WVA on Friday night, did my laundry, repacked, and left for Jericho on Saturday morning. Jericho was another truly amazing week. I’m having a harder time putting it into words though. The people at the churches in Independence/Monmouth were so kind and took such good care of us, that I was and still am blown away by their hospitality. Saturday we decorated for VBS at Independence First Baptist Church, Sunday we went to church, went swimming at Mary’s house (the children’s pastor at Monmouth Christian Church), went to a BBQ at another family’s house, and then VBS started on Monday. Monday went so smoothly, that all I could do was say, “Wow, God!” We had about 150 kids, I think, and everything that I saw went off without a hitch. I met some of the sweetest and most adorable kids I’ve ever seen last week. Man! *sniff*
Monday night though was hard. We went witnessing door-to-door, which I was hoping was going to be as great as what I’d done at Worldview, and I was excited about it, but it didn’t turn out so great for my group. A lot of different things happened that left me feeling like a complete failure. But the cool thing was that I got to spend like two hours with Alise, Kaeli, and Heidi talking and praying with them about what had happened. It was really cool. Yes, my team and I messed up, but God forgives, gives second chances and brings good out of even our mess ups! Thank goodness for that!
The rest of the week we did VBS, two block parties and a youth rally. At VBS 10-15 kids got saved (Alise, correct me on that number, I’m not exactly sure), and two more that were saved at the Independence block party. God was working for sure! We met some really cool people from different teams all around the NW, and that was fun too.
I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of details here, so Alise, feel free to chime in… (-: But overall, it’s been an amazing two weeks of learning and growing in God and seeing Him work, and this summer isn’t even over yet! There’s still youth camp next week, and kids camp the week after that, and we’re possibly going to Basin City again in August. On that note, please pray that my parents will be ok with me going to kids camp and Basin City… they’re already getting tired of me being gone so much, so things are a little stressful, but it’s not too bad yet. Please pray that they stay cool with me trying to follow what God’s telling me to do.
Love you guys!
Mood: Peachy
Music: “The Way to Begin” Krystal Meyers
Worldview Academy was AMAZING. I am completely convinced that every Christian teen on the planet needs to attend a WVA. I learned so much, that my brain is still spinning! Christianity just makes so much sense!! The speakers were awesome, quiet times were amazing, my small group was incredible, and Ultimate Frisbee was a blast, of course! The coolest thing in the whole week though was on Wednesday when they bussed us into Portland and we had an hour to witness to people in Pioneer Square. I was a little nervous when we started, but when we had to leave, I didn’t want to go. The hopelessness I saw in the people I talked to just broke my heart. Some of these people truly believed that there was no way they could know what happens after death, and that there was nothing they could do about it. I can’t even imagine how pointless life would seem if this was really all there was. I tried to tell them about the hope of Heaven that they could have in Jesus, but I don’t know how much of it got through. God promises though, that His Word will not return to Him void, so I know that many many seeds were planted in hearts that day. It was an amazing experience.
So I got home from WVA on Friday night, did my laundry, repacked, and left for Jericho on Saturday morning. Jericho was another truly amazing week. I’m having a harder time putting it into words though. The people at the churches in Independence/Monmouth were so kind and took such good care of us, that I was and still am blown away by their hospitality. Saturday we decorated for VBS at Independence First Baptist Church, Sunday we went to church, went swimming at Mary’s house (the children’s pastor at Monmouth Christian Church), went to a BBQ at another family’s house, and then VBS started on Monday. Monday went so smoothly, that all I could do was say, “Wow, God!” We had about 150 kids, I think, and everything that I saw went off without a hitch. I met some of the sweetest and most adorable kids I’ve ever seen last week. Man! *sniff*
Monday night though was hard. We went witnessing door-to-door, which I was hoping was going to be as great as what I’d done at Worldview, and I was excited about it, but it didn’t turn out so great for my group. A lot of different things happened that left me feeling like a complete failure. But the cool thing was that I got to spend like two hours with Alise, Kaeli, and Heidi talking and praying with them about what had happened. It was really cool. Yes, my team and I messed up, but God forgives, gives second chances and brings good out of even our mess ups! Thank goodness for that!
The rest of the week we did VBS, two block parties and a youth rally. At VBS 10-15 kids got saved (Alise, correct me on that number, I’m not exactly sure), and two more that were saved at the Independence block party. God was working for sure! We met some really cool people from different teams all around the NW, and that was fun too.
I’m sure I’m forgetting a lot of details here, so Alise, feel free to chime in… (-: But overall, it’s been an amazing two weeks of learning and growing in God and seeing Him work, and this summer isn’t even over yet! There’s still youth camp next week, and kids camp the week after that, and we’re possibly going to Basin City again in August. On that note, please pray that my parents will be ok with me going to kids camp and Basin City… they’re already getting tired of me being gone so much, so things are a little stressful, but it’s not too bad yet. Please pray that they stay cool with me trying to follow what God’s telling me to do.
Love you guys!
Mood: Peachy
Music: “The Way to Begin” Krystal Meyers
Monday, June 05, 2006
Let's Roll!
Okay, I'm PUMPED! My summer officially starts in 10 days, and I can't wait!! I just know that this summer is going to be even more amazing than last summer (if that's possible!) and I can't wait to get started! So, if I haven't done so already, I'm going to fill ya'll in on my summer plans...
In ten days I leave for Missouri (I've been working on my accent for the last week! It needed a little brushing up!) and although this trip has the potential to be incredibly boring (think sitting in a motel room for seven days watching tv), I'm just praying that God is going to do something cool. I have TONS of unsaved relatives there, so right now I'm just praying that God would really open up opportunities while I'm there to talk to them, and that I wouldn't miss those opportunities. But I'm also looking forward to the down time to catch up on my reading (The Deadiest Monster, The Greatest Among You, A Call to Die, His Chosen Bride, The Sacred Romance, The Power of a Praying Teen, The Ragamuffin Gospel, and The Bible). Wow, I think I'm going to be taking more books than clothes! Of course I haven't even started packing yet. Why would I do that? That's next Wednesday night's job. Wash all my clothes and throw them in a suitcase. It's what I'm going to be doing all summer, so I might as well get used to it!! But seriously, guys, please pray for my family back there. I have no idea what kind of opportunities I might have to witness to them, and I don't want to miss it.
So I get back from MO on Thursday the 22nd, then VBS in Toledo starts on Monday! I'll be running sound and learning the songs for the music department. It's a pretty brainless job, but it's going to be my only chance to learn ALL the VBS songs before Jericho! But I've always loved the VBS songs (yes, even when I was a 6th grader!) so I love doing the music.
The week after Toledo's VBS, I leave for a week of Worldview Academy. I'm pretty pumped about that too! From what I've heard from other people who have gone to WVA, it's the most amazing week ever. I'm glad that I'm getting to go BEFORE Jericho, because I think that I'm going to learn alot that I will be able to put into practice immediately!
I get home from WVA on Friday night (the 7th) and I leave for Jericho early Saturday morning! Please pray for good sleep and rest that night!! But just a head's up, I'll be sleeping all the way to Eugene! (-: I'm so excited for Jericho this year, that I can't even describe it. Last year in Tri-Cities was simply the most amazing experience of my life, but I feel so much more ready and prepared this year. I'm ready to be completely surrendered to God and to pour myself into the kids we're serving. This summer is NOT about me!! It's about being a servant.
After Jericho, I have a week at home to rest and get ready for youth camp. (Wow, I'm spending alot of time in Oregon this summer! I just realized that!) Youth camp is another thing that I'm totally stoked about! Last winter I was thinking that I might not go to camp this year, and I just wasn't too excited about it. But now that I'm able to play for the worship team and stuff, I know that God wants me to go. And that makes me excited, to know that I'm going to be where God wants to use me. My goal this year is, again, to NOT be focused on myself. I do that WAY to easily! I don't even know exactly why God wants me to go this year, I just want to be moldable in His hands, and that's good enough for me.
So that is possibly the end of my summer. Right now, it's looking like I'm NOT going to children's camp, but I'm still willing to go if that's what God wants. If it looks like God wants me to go, the problem is going to be my parents... not to mention the fact that I really really need to be applying for jobs as soon as I get back from youth camp. But I'm totally cool with going. Please pray about that too, cuz I'm still not sure!
So there you have it! My summer plans! I'm soooo excited to see what God's going to do this summer... and it's all so close now! By the way, random thought, A Call to Die is pretty much one of the most amazing books I've ever read! (Besides probably The Purpose Driven Life) Everyone should read it!!
Mood: Pumped!!
Music: "Lifesong" Casting Crowns
In ten days I leave for Missouri (I've been working on my accent for the last week! It needed a little brushing up!) and although this trip has the potential to be incredibly boring (think sitting in a motel room for seven days watching tv), I'm just praying that God is going to do something cool. I have TONS of unsaved relatives there, so right now I'm just praying that God would really open up opportunities while I'm there to talk to them, and that I wouldn't miss those opportunities. But I'm also looking forward to the down time to catch up on my reading (The Deadiest Monster, The Greatest Among You, A Call to Die, His Chosen Bride, The Sacred Romance, The Power of a Praying Teen, The Ragamuffin Gospel, and The Bible). Wow, I think I'm going to be taking more books than clothes! Of course I haven't even started packing yet. Why would I do that? That's next Wednesday night's job. Wash all my clothes and throw them in a suitcase. It's what I'm going to be doing all summer, so I might as well get used to it!! But seriously, guys, please pray for my family back there. I have no idea what kind of opportunities I might have to witness to them, and I don't want to miss it.
So I get back from MO on Thursday the 22nd, then VBS in Toledo starts on Monday! I'll be running sound and learning the songs for the music department. It's a pretty brainless job, but it's going to be my only chance to learn ALL the VBS songs before Jericho! But I've always loved the VBS songs (yes, even when I was a 6th grader!) so I love doing the music.
The week after Toledo's VBS, I leave for a week of Worldview Academy. I'm pretty pumped about that too! From what I've heard from other people who have gone to WVA, it's the most amazing week ever. I'm glad that I'm getting to go BEFORE Jericho, because I think that I'm going to learn alot that I will be able to put into practice immediately!
I get home from WVA on Friday night (the 7th) and I leave for Jericho early Saturday morning! Please pray for good sleep and rest that night!! But just a head's up, I'll be sleeping all the way to Eugene! (-: I'm so excited for Jericho this year, that I can't even describe it. Last year in Tri-Cities was simply the most amazing experience of my life, but I feel so much more ready and prepared this year. I'm ready to be completely surrendered to God and to pour myself into the kids we're serving. This summer is NOT about me!! It's about being a servant.
After Jericho, I have a week at home to rest and get ready for youth camp. (Wow, I'm spending alot of time in Oregon this summer! I just realized that!) Youth camp is another thing that I'm totally stoked about! Last winter I was thinking that I might not go to camp this year, and I just wasn't too excited about it. But now that I'm able to play for the worship team and stuff, I know that God wants me to go. And that makes me excited, to know that I'm going to be where God wants to use me. My goal this year is, again, to NOT be focused on myself. I do that WAY to easily! I don't even know exactly why God wants me to go this year, I just want to be moldable in His hands, and that's good enough for me.
So that is possibly the end of my summer. Right now, it's looking like I'm NOT going to children's camp, but I'm still willing to go if that's what God wants. If it looks like God wants me to go, the problem is going to be my parents... not to mention the fact that I really really need to be applying for jobs as soon as I get back from youth camp. But I'm totally cool with going. Please pray about that too, cuz I'm still not sure!
So there you have it! My summer plans! I'm soooo excited to see what God's going to do this summer... and it's all so close now! By the way, random thought, A Call to Die is pretty much one of the most amazing books I've ever read! (Besides probably The Purpose Driven Life) Everyone should read it!!
Mood: Pumped!!
Music: "Lifesong" Casting Crowns
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)