Accepted!!

So I get home from school today and the phone rings. It's a lady from Corban calling to tell me that they've received all my paperwork and I've been accepted!!

*Carrie starts "pulling a Katie" and running down the hallway screaming and flailing her arms*

It's so crazy to think that I'm going to be moving out this fall and living two hours away from my family, friends, and church, going to "real college" and having to deal with all of the "real world" stuff. It's horribly exciting and horribly intimidating all at the same time.

I found a group on Facebook today called "I Picked A Major I Liked, and One Day I Will Probably Be Living In A Box." It made me laugh because it seems so ridiculously true!! I've always joked about some day being a bum and living in a cardboard box under a bridge, and who knows? I'm definitely not going into ministry for the money, :) and I was reading in the book Pursuit of God today about not being so attached to our possessions. Maybe God is trying to tell me something. :) I'm thinking that a refrigerator box would be quite nice. I'd be set with a nice warm sleeping bag and some top ramen. Yes, you can eat Ramen raw.

So now I'm just waiting on the financial aid paperwork. That is definitely going to be the make-or-break part of this whole deal. Corban is VERY expensive!! And I'm just a poor custodial engineer. :] But it's all in God's hands. If Corban is where he wants me, then He's gonna work out every last detail!!

Mood: Thrilled
Music: "Treason" by Kutless

Love, Life, Friends, and the Future

My MySpace mood-thing right now says that I'm "contemplating life, love, friends, and the future." And I guess I am. Life can be SO weird sometimes. So can love and friends and the future. =]


I get so frustrated with myself when I don't want to forgive. Like right now, I know I need to forgive someone, but that horrible jerk-ish part of me doesn't want to do it until she realizes that she hurt me and says she's sorry.


But that's not the way it works. Even if the other person never ever realizes that their actions and words hurt me and brought me to tears, I still need to forgive them if for no other reason than that they DIDN'T realize it. Because I hope that if they didn't realize it, then they truly didn't mean to do it.


I can't put conditions on forgiveness though. If I want God to forgive me unconditionally, then I've gotta forgive others like that. And that's a pretty powerful motivator, especially for someone like me who messes up a LOT!

I hate it when friendships slip away. Especially over dumb things that we'll look back on later and be like, "That was so STUPID!" It makes me want to cry. Another thing that makes me want to burst into tears is when I see friends doing things that I can see are harmful for them. I can see it because I'm outside of the emotion of the situation, but the person in the middle of it is blind to the danger. So even if you try to talk to them about it, they won't listen because they can't see it. Sad seems like such an inadequate word to express how I feel about this sort of thing. Distressed, maybe? That's not quite it either.

Mood: Sad/Distressed/Troubled/Sad
Music: "September" by Spoken