Love, Life, Friends, and the Future

My MySpace mood-thing right now says that I'm "contemplating life, love, friends, and the future." And I guess I am. Life can be SO weird sometimes. So can love and friends and the future. =]


I get so frustrated with myself when I don't want to forgive. Like right now, I know I need to forgive someone, but that horrible jerk-ish part of me doesn't want to do it until she realizes that she hurt me and says she's sorry.


But that's not the way it works. Even if the other person never ever realizes that their actions and words hurt me and brought me to tears, I still need to forgive them if for no other reason than that they DIDN'T realize it. Because I hope that if they didn't realize it, then they truly didn't mean to do it.


I can't put conditions on forgiveness though. If I want God to forgive me unconditionally, then I've gotta forgive others like that. And that's a pretty powerful motivator, especially for someone like me who messes up a LOT!

I hate it when friendships slip away. Especially over dumb things that we'll look back on later and be like, "That was so STUPID!" It makes me want to cry. Another thing that makes me want to burst into tears is when I see friends doing things that I can see are harmful for them. I can see it because I'm outside of the emotion of the situation, but the person in the middle of it is blind to the danger. So even if you try to talk to them about it, they won't listen because they can't see it. Sad seems like such an inadequate word to express how I feel about this sort of thing. Distressed, maybe? That's not quite it either.

Mood: Sad/Distressed/Troubled/Sad
Music: "September" by Spoken