Tonight it all started with windshield wipers. My dad bought me new ones as part of my Christmas present (I really needed them!) and since I'm driving up in the mountains in the snow tomorrow, we went out to install them tonight.
Windshield wipers. They can't be that hard, right? Just snap the old ones off, and snap the new ones on. Even I could figure that out, right?
Life Lesson #528: It's NEVER that easy.
My lovely little German-made car, which I love to death except for when I'm working on it, makes even changing my windshield wipers complicated. It turned into quite the ordeal, and for a few moments there, I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to wipe the rain off my windshield again.
About halfway through this process though, I started to panic. Literally. All these thoughts started racing through my head and the tears started to well up in my eyes.
"I could have never done this by myself. What would I have done if my dad wasn't here to help me? My dad is getting old and is in really bad health. What am I going to do when he's gone? Oh my gosh, I'm going to turn into one of those completely helpless women that has to hire a handyman every time they need a lightbulb changed. I can't be an adult. I'm not capable of taking care of myself. I couldn't even take my car to a mechanic if I needed to because I can't afford it. Am I ever going to be able to make enough money to even pay my rent? I [almost] have a completely useless college degree. And a butt-load of debt to go along with it. I'm not going to be able to get a job, and the loan people are going to come take my car away because that's pretty much the only thing I own that they'd want. Dad always says that when he's gone, then Joe and Dick will take care of fixing my car for me. But what if I want to move away? Great. I have to live within a 10-mile radius of one of my brothers for the rest of my life."
Insert uncontrollable crying and hyperventilating here.
In case you haven't figured it out from the sampling of my thoughts listed above, I am having some serious doubts about whether or not I can actually do this whole "being an adult" business. I've tried to express these worries to my parents and my sister, and they don't take me seriously. And I swear, the next person who says, "Oh don't worry, just get married and your husband will take care of all of this for you!" is going to get my fist in their face.
Mood: Freaked out
Music: None
