An Unexpected Blessing

During my last year and a half at school, I've struggled with sometimes all-too-frequent feelings of intense loneliness and feeling like I don't really belong anywhere. Like I've said before, it's amazing how one can be so incredibly lonely in the midst of so many people. This year though, in the midst of the loneliness and confusion, the Lord answered my cries in a new way. He gave me my RA team.

When it comes time to go home from school for breaks, I've always secretly laughed at the girls who cried and hugged and went on and on about how much they would miss the girls on their floor while they were gone. I've always hugged my hall girls and went home happily, never wasting valuable break time missing people from school. A couple days into Christmas break this year though, I felt a feeling I'd never felt before. I realized that I missed my team. A lot.

It's been a weird holiday so far, and a few days into it, I found myself just wanting to hang out with Michelle, Joel, Brenna, Brady, Madison, Vince, Kristy, Steve, Amanda and Pam. These ten "get me," at least better than anyone else at school does. They have been such a part of combating the loneliness that has been such a big part of the last year and a half, and I'm so grateful for that. It's not that I didn't have friends before this year; I have lots of "friends" at school actually. But these guys are the quality, not the quantity that I've been needing.

Thank You Jesus that You knew what I needed this year long before I did. Thank You for this incredible, unexpected blessing!

Mood: Grateful
Music: Phil Wickham

The Giving of Thanks Part 2

I was driving downtown to the mall today, heard the song "Low" by Flo Rida on the radio, and just had to chuckle because my friend Joel immediately came to mind. You see, residence life this year could aptly be summed up in the phrase "The Year of the Dance Party." During RA training, we had an actual workshop on how to host a great dance parties, complete with a YouTube tutorial on basic moves. (Milk the Cow, anyone?) Since that point, I have attended more dance parties than in all my 20 years combined, and although it's still awkward, and I still feel like a foal who's just learning to walk, they're ridiculous amounts of fun. Although at first glance Joel seems like the least likely person to ever start busting out a move at our little shindigs, you can always find him in the middle of the dance circle singing and grooving to his heart's content.

Joel is one of those people that when I first met him I immediately thought, "He and I are going to be very good friends!" And a good friend he has indeed proven to be. He ended up being my Davidson brother hall, so I've had the privilege of cheering for him and his boys at the Lumberjack games, making them cookies and Christmas cards, and when the BAD Civil War comes around in the Spring, we'll be Northside teammates. It's been a blessing to have a brother like Joel be a part of my life this year, and I look forward to many more dance parties with him!

Then I started thinking about food because I was hungry, which made me think of my beloved RD, Pam, and the many meals she's cooked for our team. Pam, Jason, Lexy, and Max are such a precious family, and it has been such an honor to spend so many hours with them in their home this year. Pam cares so much for each of us girls, and I have learned so much from her about relating to and loving people in the last four months. She's honest and real about her own struggles, which makes her so very approachable and a safe place to be real. She told the RA team last Sunday night that this is her last year as an RD in Balyo, and I can't even tell you how much she'll be missed. Jason is like a dad to us RAs, and we know that he'll happily do the background work on any guy we might want to date. :) Just last Tuesday, I spent a couple hours with Max (Pam and Jason's 6-year-old) while he was home from school sick, watching Tom & Jerry and playing Sorry while Pam was in a meeting. From Chinese food lunch dates with Pam to watching football games with Jason to hanging out with Lexy and Max, getting to know the Hortons this year has been such an incredible blessing.

As I was considering my life today, I realized how much I love the place I'm at. I'm going to school and studying something I love; I am living life with thirteen unique and talented young women who I am growing to love more and more every day; I work with a team of student leaders who constantly encourage me and love on me and challenge me to be a better Christian, a better RA, and a better student. The BAD Team (Balyo and Davidson) melded together from the start of training this year, and we have SO much fun together! Just last Monday we hosted a Christmas party for 150 residents complete with an ugly Christmas sweater contest, egg nog chugging, and many games of Elf Ninja. Of course by the end, it just became a big dance party which was a perfect ending to the night! :)

But back to homework now. Dead week is drawing to a close (which isn't really very dead here, but the students are certainly dead at the end of it!) and we're getting ready to head into finals. I don't sleep much these days (my nights usually consist of homework until 3 or 4 in the morning, broken up by talking to Martini about 1am and Ben about 2am on FB chat) then getting up to tackle another day on less than 5 hours of sleep and catching catnaps when I can. But I'm not complaining. Life is good, despite finals, and I am so incredibly blessed.

Mood: COLD!
Music: TV in the background.

My Response to Psalm 136

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting." (Ps. 136:1)

He is the One who sustains me,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He wraps me in His arms of love,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He is able to do so much more than I could ever ask or think,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He will never leave me or forsake me,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He is Everything I need,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He can soften even the hardest heart,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He loves order and beauty,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He paints a masterpiece with every sunset,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He knows every star by name,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
He is big enough to satisfy all my desires,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting;
But He is personal enough to care when I'm hurt and crying,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.