I suppose that since most of our hurts come through relationships, so will our healing,
and I know that grace rarely makes sense for those looking in from the outside.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Decisions

I want to crawl under the covers right now and sleep for about a week. Either that or cry. Or both. I don't even know why, I'm just tired and confused I guess. I have a whole bunch of decisions I have to make soon, and they're kind of stressing me out. I didn't get cast in the play, so now I have to decide about Italy. That feels like it should be pointing towards going on the trip, but I just don't feel at peace about it. Of course I'm really disappointed about not getting cast in the play too. I can't apply to be an RA next year because training starts the week before we even go to youth camp. I mean, that's fine because I'm so excited about being an intern this summer, but it's still disappointing because I've always wanted to be a RA. I just turned in my exegetical paper and it just makes me sick to my stomach because I feel like I did a pretty horrible job on it, and that of course brings pain to my little good-grade loving heart. Not to mention that I just wanted to badly to write this paper well, no matter the grade. I miss having that accomplished feeling of writing a paper that I was truly proud of like I did in my English classes at Centralia.
Ok, seriously, going to bed now. Who cares that it's not even five o'clock.

Mood: Uh, crappy.
Music: None. It would probably annoy me.