It is roughly 2am, so I'm not exactly sane at the moment. I'm going four-wall crazy, and I just got back from Taco Bell. Thank goodness for fast food being open until 3am on weekends. My two beef soft tacos with no lettuce were heavenly. My roommate is gone for the weekend and I spent my afternoon watching "The Office" and playing "Gold Strike" (aka, the stupidest computer game known to man). I'm currently trying to beat my high score of 75,000. Go me.
I spent a good hour on the phone with Samantha tonight. She's officially "in a relationship" with Blake. Everyone say, "Awwwww!" I'm happy for her, I really am. Thrilled actually. From what I've heard, he seems like a fantastic guy. But it's nights like this that I just can't help but wonder.
When will it be my turn? Will it EVER be my turn? Will I ever get to change my Facebook status from "single" to "in a relationship"? Will I ever meet a guy who wants to tell the world that I'm his girl? Is he out there? Will there ever be a guy who is just completely crazy about me?
Being here makes it even harder. I'm surrounded, all the time, by these adorable Christian couples, watching guys treat girls like royalty, and just be so dang CUTE! Friday nights are date nights, and what did I do tonight? Yep, I sat in my room, eating Nutella and playing Gold Strike. Depressing, eh? But even more sad is the fact that I have yet to meet a single guy here. Not even one. Ok, I was introduced to Ben's friend Joey one night when we were both at Wal Mart at like 12:30, but he doesn't even recognize me in the halls, so that doesn't count.
Now don't get my wrong, I'm not in the "ring by spring" crowd, I'm here to get my degree. That is definitely my focus! It's just frustrating. Grrrrr.
Mood: Contemplative
Music: "Strong" by Jordyn Taylor
1 comment:
Ahh, friend. I could try a million different tactics to try to cheer you up in a mood like this, but I assure you, it doesn't do much good! I know that feeling - I know it well! These are the verses I've memorized to try to combat those questions that lead me down the path of "if only"... Psalm 84:11. Psalm 138:8. Psalm 27:13-14. In the meantime, I write love letters to my (hoped for) husband (silly, I know, shhhhh!), and practice "honest prayer," which usually comprises of me telling the Lord exactly what I think, but then remembering to come around to conclude with, "but YOUR will be done, Papa!" AND, if all that isn't enough, I start planning to go off to Afghanistan to share the love of Jesus, figuring it's probably better I'm not married because then I won't leave a husband behind when I step on a landmine or something! ;-)
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